Saturday Date - With a Twist - Part 2

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Saturday Date - With a Twist - Part 2
15
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 11:41am

Hi all...

Thanks for all of your thoughts and kind words about what has been happening with me this week. Needless to say, yesterday got even better with a new twist.

Even though "Peter" told me that he really had alot going on with his company, had alot on his mind and that he would call me in a couple of days, I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. So I decided to let things go and see what happened, trying really hard not to over react or analyze things too much.

Well, yesterday, things got the best of me, and I decided to look on match.com to see how long it had been since he logged on. Well, to my surprise, he was on line with match. So I thought to myself, if he has so much going on, with his business, and his business partner and clients and what not, and not being able to talk to me for a couple of days, then what the hell was he doing on match? Needless to say I stewed about it for a couple of hours and needed to go with my gut instinct, that "he just wasn't that in to me". So I called his cell phone and left a message for him, saying that I didn't think that things were right between us and that I would like to talk to him. Well that was at 2:00 pm PST yesterday and here we are at 8:30 a.m. PST and no phone call back.

I guess that means what I thought from the beginning.

Any thoughts of how to proceed? My gut is telling me to just leave all alone and move on.

Come on girls - need your help here!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2005
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 2:16pm
Thanks Debbie - no need to be sorry - It is my own fault!! But yes, definitely needed to go with my gut, here it is already 11:15 a.m. PST and still no call! Thats ok - life does go on and its back to that damn dating drawing board again!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 2:19pm

No, you're right. What I'm saying is she's reacting the way she is because her GUT INSTINCT is telling her he's blowing her off (we've all been there INCLUDING ME) I've reacted this way before, it's like this last hope that you're gut is off but it never is. That is why it's wise to keep dating others and no matter how great of a connection just know that you may never hear from him again, even after several good dates he can disapear, that is dating.

 
 
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 3:05pm

You did just have ONE date with this guy, right? I don't understand how that translates into any sort of expectations, to the point where it would be appropriate to call him and talk about things not being "right" between you. That's committed relationship talk, not one date talk!

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 3:13pm

Ah, this explains it better. You fell into the "false sense of intimacy" trap by talking too much prior to meeting.

Next time, keep it to a handful of emails and just a phone call or two before meeting, max.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
Thu, 09-22-2005 - 10:10pm

1. i wouldn't have talked everyday that much prior to meeting him , false sense of intimacy, and romanticizing about someone u don't even know.

2. NOW no he doesnt need to call her but if a guy is interested He WILLLLLLLL secure a date and not wait..he will call and ask her out but doesn't mean he will call her everyday. and NOONE is that busy to not be able to get a dinner in for a couple of hours..

i have lived and learned, go w/ gut and if no call/no dates, not that into you and dont' waste your time thnking about him and why?? just go out and meet someone else.

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