Saw someone I know

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Saw someone I know
3
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 12:21pm

I just saw that someone I know (not too well) on match.com. We live in pretty small town...he was one of the carpenters on my parents house, his wife died about a year ago, & in fact my parents had him over for dinner a few weeks after that & had me come as well- mostly to help with the meal & I think felt it would be a little awkard on their own (she committed suicide).

Because this is such a samll town, my profile is hidden....should I initiate things on match, find someone to tell him I'm interested...???

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2002
Mon, 09-09-2013 - 10:18pm

Go for it, just message him, like you would a friend. Tell him you would love to see him again.

If hes interested he will respond, just like any one else! No Pain no gain. Have to just put yopurself out there, if its meant to be it will

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:26pm

I think if there is any other way to run into him--not to have someone purposely tell him that you are interested--I would go that route.  I saw a few people that I know on match.  I didn't contact any of them to get a date, but it didn't seem to work out well.  1st one was a guy I had gone to law school with 25 yrs ago and hadn't seen since then.  I contacted him to say hi, how are things going, etc.--he seemed interested to talk to me, gave me his cell phone & regular email.  I said would you like to catch up over lunch & he said yes, then when I actually tried to get him to go, he never followed through.  I didn't mean it like a date--since I hadn't seen him in so long, I don't know if I would want to date him until we had talked again, but I bet that he did & wasn't interested--oh & this is someone I knew quite well and we had gone out casually a couple of times.

The 2nd one was a guy who I had originally met through an OLD site.  We only went out a couple of times and then he seemed always to be too busy with work and then I met my 2nd DH anyway.  Over the years we had been in contact a few times for work related things.  The most recent was probably about 3 yrs ago now, we had done some work together and went out to dinner--we seemed to have a really good time & I was hoping we would go out again (and he said that we would) but no follow through on his part.  So then I saw him once on match--I did contact him just to say hi, and he never responded--I think he was embarrassed to be "caught."  I think that happens to a lot of people--even though doing OLD is much more accepted today, sometimes people are embarrassed--why is your profile hidden, you know?  Maybe if you want him to find you, you should un-hide your profile.  I'm sure you would come up in his search, he'd know you were available and then he could contact you.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 12:42pm

Perhaps it was too soon after his wife's suicide, but did you detect any kind of attraction on his part?

I don't really know what the best thing is to do--I would be inclined to contact him through match.com, rather than get anyone else involved (but that's me). You can be very low-key in your contact email, just suggest getting together to catch-up sometime. You could leave it very open-ended, so that if he doesn't respond, it won't be too embarassing if you run into each other in your small town.