Says please write but almost no replies

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2005
Says please write but almost no replies
7
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 5:15pm

Hello Ladies,

Sorry I have not been on this board for a long time… I hope everyone is doing good.

I would love to get your wisdom on 2 things:

I have been writing to a man for about 4 weeks He almost never replies to my emails but when he does he always finishes his emails by saying something along the lines of “ Please feel free to email anytime”. Truth is, that I like the man, but I hardly know anything about him and I am getting tired of having the impression of talking to myself at times … I just wanted to get your perspective before getting him off my “hotlist”…

I have been reading your pearls of wisdom and some of you mention that it is too good to “get excited” about a man too soon: I have a tendency to do that …. ;-( . Do any of you have tips to share in order to avoid that …

Many thanks as always

Winnie


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 5:47pm

To me, it sounds like this guy wants a pen pal. 4 weeks is a very long time to email without once mentioning moving things to the phone or meeting in person. I personally am online to meet people not to find an email buddy. Also, since he almost never replies to your emails, it sounds like he's not very interested either. I'd next this guy in a heartbeat.

As for not getting too excited, the important thing for me is to remember that you don't really know them - only the bit of them that they have LET you know from online convos. You have no idea that if when you meet that you will like them in person. In fact 99% of online relationships never make it past that first meet because of many reasons like someone ghosts, someone decides before meeting that you're not compatible or decides on the first meet that you are just not right for each other. Those statistics (and my own experience) keep me from getting overly excited about anyone!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sun, 01-29-2006 - 10:52pm

When I started doing OLD I was like you. I would get all excited about some guy I chatted with and gave me the impression that he is smart and sexy...
The only way to prevent this excitement is to get out and meet people from OLD. You will automatically adopt a negative attitude after few dates. Now I go to first date expecting that it will be the last one and in most of the time it is the last date with that specific person.
Dont get discouraged. You need to meet about 10 people in order to find someone interesting.
If you were lucky and found someone b4 that then you are just that: lucky

good luck and keep posting

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 10:43am
He's just not really that interested.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 10:52am
For some reason, I think the stats should be better (more positive) if places like Match & Yahoo want more people to join their sites. It's a wonder anyone joins if 99% of all first-meets end up being the last with that person. With the exception of the one guy who lasted almost 3 weeks, I would have to say that my own situation is helping to make the 99% failure rate quite accurate. :0
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 11:02am
I have no REAL documented proof but that comes from my own experience as well as that of others on this board and those that I know. But hey, all it takes is 1. But no, I don't think that Yahoo and Match and the others would go publish such crappy statistics! They only like to publish success stories. But I think we all did a numbers game out here a long time ago to see from how many initial winks and emails you actually 1) got a second email 2) got to a first meet and 3) got past the first meet. The results were DISMAL and right at about 99% failure.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2006
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 11:20am

As Greg Behrendt would say: Don't waste the pretty (that's you!) on a man who doesn't seem that into you. The fact that he barely keeps in touch with you is a sure sign that he's not that into you; and the fact that when he does write he says to "feel free to e-mail anytime" is a sign that he's just too afraid to tell you he's not really interested. So in my opinion, you should move on.

You'll know a man is interested when he attempts to keep in touch with you at all costs, and is clearly pursuing you.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 10:09am
I think he's trying to give you the brush-off.