Script for saying we aren't a match?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Script for saying we aren't a match?
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 2:40pm

Newly back online and remembering how bad I am at having one date and knowing there isn't anything between us, and being unable

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 2:05pm

I have a set of rules for making the first date.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 9:52am

There are men who clearly should be dropped like a hot potato, but the iffy ones should be given a chance.

There was a man who insisted we meet when we hadn't even spoken on the phone yet. I said I wouldn't meet someone whom I hadn't spoken on the phone with first. He said, "You have a lot of rules, don't you?" That was the end of that communication.

One man kept calling me beautiful instead of my name in his e-mails. I thought he might be a player. After meeting him though, I found out that he prefers to call people by nicknames a lot, instead of their real names, and that's just the way he is. He has now been my boyfriend for a year, and always call me "hon" instead of my name. If I had rejected him for thinking he was a player before even meeting him, my life wouldn't be as great as it is now. He's a wonderful man.

When online dating, I would say, "I enjoyed meeting you, but didn't feel the chemistry for a long term relationship. Good luck in your search."

Many men are cowards and rude, and didn't e-mail me or contact me again if he wasn't interested. They left me hanging. I think it's nicer to let them know as soon as possible so they aren't left hanging. Hope you find a good one!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 11:11pm

Ah, the unsubstantial email...hated those. Why do they bother? It doesn't give you much to go on.

My only couple of "no thanks" emails consisted of "I enjoyed meeting you, you have a great (fill in the blank; sense of humor, outlook on life, etc.), but I didn't feel a spark. Good luck in your search."

It's not the greatest, but it's honest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 9:31pm

MHash thank you, your words are always wise.

Twiggy51 wrote "Maybe they are worried about sounding pushy if they ask alot of questions".

Thank you! I honestly never thought of this. This is why I appreciate this board! Thank you.

Oh, the ironies of OLD, a date I had Wednesday I am not into but wants to pursue me, and the one I had a great date with and am interested in seems to not feel the same way. Arrrgh! Such is dating sometimes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2009
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 8:28pm

I think that honesty is the best policy. If you meet someone face to face and you truly aren't interested...just say so. That's the approach I have used. I always say that I enjoyed meeting them but I don't feel that things will go any further. I also use that policy when people send me winks or that ever they call it. I wish that more guys would be as honest.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 5:34pm

My guess is the large majority of those out there online dating are clueless on how to communicate in general and even less so online.

My method is to get to a phone conversation ASAP in order to meet ASAP if they pass the phone screening because of how different people can appear online versus in person.