Second date

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Second date
14
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 3:14pm

Hey guys,

My first date on saturday was great, we had a lot in common and had an excellent time. I have my second date tonight and we already scheduled fri and saturday. Wish me luck and thanks again for all of your advice. Im still keeping my expectations low and just going with the flow. This board has been very helpful in keeping me from going insane :)

GM

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
In reply to: gal_moonlight
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 5:39pm

Hi,

This is where the word "subjective" comes in; we don't know this man or how you feel when you are with him. You must enjoy his company, and I trust you are not going on these dates because you have nothing 'better' to do? I would say go on the dates as scheduled. You will know by Friday night--if you feel you have had enough of his time/attention as of that time. If you Have, then DO be honest and say that you feel you would like to re-schedule your Saturday night date for next week, would Tuesday night be ok? Then you have put down the 'distance' speedbump, but did not tear up the tracks for the future.

Agree that sometimes this 'Big Whoosh' kinda rush from a man is so that you feel like you Know him well and therefore, it is time to take the lid off of the Cookie Jar...awwwww, no! IF you sweetly decline his invitation for throwdown sex, as it is Too soon for 'registered firearm' sex, and he vaproizes on you, then you Know you've been hit by a Smooth Criminal.

Ding! next! And at least you did not get your tail stuck under the rocking chair for long..Mrrrrooowwwch!

Truly,
Cupcake

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
In reply to: gal_moonlight
Wed, 02-09-2005 - 5:42pm

PS....

Last weekend I turned down two dates that came on Friday, for Saturday. They waited Too long to ask me and I would rather go, shop, browse the bookstore, dinner with pals, than be SO available like that. These were men I have not been out with before, so it wasn't within the 'rules of we have been dating a while' here on Planet Cupcake.

Agree that you gotta keep the mystery!

Truly,
Cupcake

Avatar for calilawgirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: gal_moonlight
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 11:42am

I have a little bit of a different take on this. If YOU are not feeling rushed by how much time you are spending together, if YOU are enjoying his company- then keep all of these dates.

I think after 4 dates this close together 2 things will happen. Either you will discover that you two are not a right match. And now you've discovered it in a week or so instead of over a month of spread out dates. Or it is possible that the 2 of you will continue to enjoy each other's company and this could be the beginning of a great relationship.

However, if it were me. I wouldn't let the physical contact move as fast as the number of dates. I know for myself, in the past I've allowed the physical part to move fast because of chemistry/hormones/dumbness and get emotionally involved to soon. So I'd go on all those dates, see if there is a friendship developing, maybe some kissing- but no rolling horizontal rolling around. (tehehe)

It sounds like you are enjoying yourself. HAVE FUN!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
In reply to: gal_moonlight
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 12:31pm

IMO...Keep the dates you've made this way you don't have to lie or play games. But keep a handle on them in the future.

I've found that it *usually* works out better if you take your time getting to know someone.

The "needy" thing would have me thinking as well.

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