Second date?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2009
Second date?
Mon, 02-10-2014 - 6:26pm

I usually understand what is going on when I'm online dating, but I'm currently a little confused.  I talked back and forth for a few days with a man, and he quickly asked me out.  We met for coffee for a couple of hours and had a good time.  Afterwards, I wrote to thank him, and since then we have exchanged odd short messages, but he has not asked me out again.   I was just confused.  Is he even interested?  I wrote him today that I would be getting off the site pretty soon as I only paid through the month and to call me if he would like to meet up again.  Not sure if I will hear anything, but I was not sure what was going on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Mon, 02-10-2014 - 7:04pm

Tequila Cat-

Hi. It can be hard to read someone you are just beginning to know. You also don't want to come off as needy or desperate. You just need to sit back and see if he will ask you out again. There are no guarantees here. In fact, with online dating, you can usually expect to kiss a lot of frogs before finding that prince. It is a high volume low yield game and no one has developed a formula to dramatically alter this fact.

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Tue, 02-11-2014 - 11:03am

I agree with Trenner, I'd just wait to see what happens. You've done your part, it's his turn now. The OLD world is very topsy-turvy, and I think a lot of emphasis is placed on deciding right away if someone is right for you or not. I think it's hard to get to know someone this way, rather than someone you meet in your "real" life, perhaps through friends or work.

As to the texting - I met a guy via OLD about 5 years ago who kept in touch via email for a while after meeting me, and didn't ask me out. It confused me also. He did end up eventually asking me out three years later, and then again, last October--three dates, then done. I would have to say that's pretty low interest. 

In general, I have to go along with "He's Just Not That Into You" if he's not calling you up and asking you out.