Second date jitters
Find a Conversation
Second date jitters
| Wed, 02-16-2005 - 7:13am |
Tonight I'm going on a second date with a guy that I went on a first date with two weeks ago. We've emailed and talked on the phone quite a bit but this second date is making me nervous. Is he going to try to kiss me, is he not going to try to kiss me, will he ask me out again, will he dump me, will we get along as well as we have been on the phone.......so many neurotic worries, so little time!!!! (he's the one that wanted me to help him with his profile on match, he hasn't talked about that anymore and actually hasn't been active for over a week - whatever that means!)

Pages
Hope the date went well. I still think it’s tacky and a tell tale sign if he asked you to help him tweak his profile, sounds like a player type.....
Let us know!
SP
That he hasn't been active means nothing. Please quit thinking about it- he might have another username he uses, he might just use Match without logging in.
The other stuff... yikes. That's a lot to be worrying about. Can you really be "dumped" when you don't have much of a relationship yet? And what if you decide to try and kiss HIM? I had a date recently where I was positive that the girl was about to try and lay one on me (at the end) and I definitely didn't want to be going there.
I hope the date goes well. You're smart, you've got your stuff together. Your worries are the same ones that every human has had at some point, all the way back to caveman days when Thag went to get Theena and wore his very best deerskin outfit and they couldn't do much more than grunt at each other! LOL
Just have fun, be yourself, and try to not be hyper-examining the guy for flaws. I think that second and third date (if there is a third one) is where we really start to notice if someone has some type of major personality defects. You'll know, either way.
Sorry this happened but next time pay attention to the red flags. Any man who asks you to help him improove his profile (to get more dates) isn't looking at YOU as a potential relationship, that should have been your exit. You wasted an evening and I'm sorry but next time really find out what they are looking for, have they been out of a relationship for a while etc.
Better luck next time!!!
The Peanut
Ouch. At first, when you said he was still friends with his ex, I was thinking "okay, that's not that big a deal." Lots of people are friends with their ex-whatevers. (Not everyone, but lots are.)
But he should know, immediately, why he's on Match and whether it's a "get back at her" kind of thing. Big red flag there for sure. Bummer.
Hey, look at it this way- if you hadn't gone out with him at all, you'd still be exactly where you are now- looking for NEXT. :) Plus, you had a date. That's better than many of us on here are doing!
Good for you. Sounds like you handled it the right way. IMHO it was on the second meet for you and diagnosing this problem beforehand would have been almost impossible. You went into it knowing there was a red flag and you explored and found the problem.
Move over Dr. Phil....I would consider that a job well done.
Hi Donna,
I was in this same situation..IF they speak about another woman, and no in passing, or they are the mother of their kids and you are talking in that vein, then....Ding! Next!
It has dawned on me that we are all "mechanics" trying to "Get Our Motors Runnin'!"...you have to go in, find the problem, diagnose and fix it, or get a new Ride! You, my dear, are the BMW mechanic of all mechanics, handled it perfectly!
Ohhhh...and "Busted" last year..."sneak-age"--IF he did that to her, he WILLdo that to you!
awwwww....Nope!
Bigger and Better waits for You!
Truly,
Cupcake
I just rembered that I've also had a first meet with someone who wasn't over
Pages