seeing his pic
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seeing his pic
| Sun, 06-26-2005 - 5:45pm |
What would you do if you were chatting with someone for a few days and agreed to meet but didn't agree on the time yet, and then you see his pics and just feel like you don't want to meet him after all. There's absolutly no attraction whatsoever. It's just happened to me and I feel bad but I don't want to meet him now. I saw one pic previously but it was side on and he had sunglasses and a hat on so I couldn't see his features very good. I feel bad now ignoring him but I definitely don't want to meet him and I know it must sound terrible to you.

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Kathy,
Don't feel bad, this is something that has probably happened to everyone here.
I have actually never responded to someone that doesn't have a picture up on their profile. It's true, I could really be missing out, but I don't know why they wouldn't put a picture up in the first place. I thought out the scenario that you just described in my head the first time I was contacted by a "no pic" profile: What would I do if we hit it off on the phone and then I get their picture and I'm totally unattracted? It just puts people in a bad situation, IMO.
Don't feel shallow, because you need to be attracted to someone in order to be in a relationship with them. I understand how it makes you feel, though, because I'm exactly the same. I always hate to have to tell someone "not interested". It hurts cause I've been on the other side too.
Good luck...
Eric
NO, it doesn't sound terrible and stop beating yourself up over it! :-) Everyone has certain things they are attracted to and things they are not. It doesn't make anyone a bad person or shallow or anything.
Best suggestion is just to say something like "After thinking about it, I don't think it would be a good idea for us to meet." You don't owe him any more explanation - you have never met and you're not dating. A simple no thanks is perfectly fine. Block him after that if you don't want to hear an "argument" or a request for more explanation. He'll want one (likely) but you don't need to feel obligated to give it. If you don't want to meet him, saying the words is enough.
But lesson learned... never agree to meet someone (even without making specific plans) before seeing a real picture.
Not at all.
"But lesson learned... never agree to meet someone (even without making specific plans) before seeing a real picture."
Yup, I've sailed that ship as well!
sg77 - I'd agree with you if they'd already made specific plans and set up a day and place to meet, but they haven't. kathy said that they'd talked about meeting but hadn't made any specific plans. I agree with her reasoning that she knows it will be a waste of time so why bother? When you are DEAD set against meeting someone, and you have told yourself that it absolutely won't work for whatever reason, then why waste everyone's time? Meeting him could only put false expectations in his mind about things and prolong this when she knows it isn't going anywhere.
I think only in cases where one person is feeling unsure or just nervous about someone because they are "not my type" or something should the person go ahead and meet. If you have your mind made up that it isn't going to work, 99.9% of the time, it isn't gonna work! :-)
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