Seeking advice re current relationship
Find a Conversation
|Tue, 08-19-2003 - 9:55am|
Anyhow, we've been dating 2 months since meeting through an online dating site. He is affectionate, kind, generous, treats me with respect, listens when I talk, shows interest in my day to day life and he remembers everything I tell him. In additon, he accepts my shortcomings, which for many men are dealbreakers when it comes to dating/relationships. He is loyal and has a loving relationship with both his immediate and extended family. He has had the same close-knit circle of friends for 15+ years.
The problem is that there are a few issues that I would like to discuss with him but seem to lack the nerve.
1. All our time together is spent eating take-out and watching videos. I posted about this recently asking if this is "normal." We do both enjoy this; however, last time I saw him I felt that our time together is becoming boring and predictable. I also feel that we have slowed down the pace of getting to know each other since you only see certain aspects of each other when you severely limit how you spend time together. I want to suggest that we add some variety to our dates because I feel that we have fallen into a rut but since I'm not a really social person, I have no idea what to suggest we do. The only out-of-the house activity he engages in is fishing with the guys once/week.
2. We both still have our online ads posted and we both log on to the site occasionally. We haven't formally discussed exclusivity but I haven't been dating others and neither has he. I know this because he told me early on that he only dates one woman at a time. He's a relationship kind of guy and was actually concerned when I told him I've always been the multiple date type and have had only one exclusive relationship. Anyhow, I've been waiting for him to raise the issue of exclusivity and taking our ads down but he hasn't. Lately I've been getting quite a number of emails from guys through the dating site so now I'm thinking that maybe I should bring up the subject.
3. Although he talks about family and mentions friends by name, we haven't met each other's friends or family. After 2 months this makes me wonder if our relationhips is progressing at all. I don't even know if his friends/family know about me.
My brother and some friends have pointed out that I have a tendency to hide my feelings and maintain very high walls around my emotions. They say that he probably does not realize that I'm even all that into him. They also think that if any conversation is going to occur re. our relationship I'll have to initiate it because HE'S probably to afraid of being rejected by ME.
So, should I raise these issues (that I've been waiting for him to raise)? How do I go about it without sounding critical or make him feel that I'm pushing for more that he is willing to give? I'm all for moving slowly and cautiously as long as I know that we're actually going somewhere.