Is "Separated" the kiss of death?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Is "Separated" the kiss of death?
24
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 6:42pm

Just curious... I have seen many profile options out there that cover gray areas, such as...


"Separated" or "Its Complicated"


Are these the kiss of death for your own online profiles?


Would all of you skip these types of profiles?


Lots of people have simply not divorced due to the other party dragging it out, which the legal system allows them to do.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2009
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 7:42pm

i started online dating when I was separated. I was always very honest and up front about that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 9:43pm

There are some posts on this topic scattered around here and there, including one (maybe more) where I made a similar observation to yours, along the lines of divorce proceedings often take more than a little time. I think I mentioned an example, which I'll mention again, of a woman I met once who

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 11:01pm
My tendency was to skip past anyone who was separated too but I ended up meeting a man who is in that category. They`ve been living in separate homes for almost 6 years but the divorce has been very slow going. There is no chance that they will ever reconcile and if he had more control, the divorce would have been finished long ago.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sat, 08-22-2009 - 9:35am

I am dealing with this issue right now. I have been emailing a guy who is separated and seems really nice.

I live in CT, he lives in NY (I live on the state line). From having dated a few guys in NY, I know that the divorce process is much, much longer in NY because apparently you have to have cause (i.e. they don't have 'no fault' divorce). So some of these guys have been separated for years.

I do know some people can move on very easily because by the time the divorce is final it's been years and they have emotionally moved on.

I guess it would be the most important to know how long the person has been separated and where they are in the divorce process-like is the court date scheduled or are you still bickering over nonsense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sat, 08-22-2009 - 5:58pm

I skipped right over those profiles, but I also skipped "divorced" ones too, so I'm probably not the best example. :-)

And if I ever had found out a man put single and wasn't - well, it would have been all over with him before it began.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Sun, 08-23-2009 - 9:08pm
I began OLD seperated as well.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Sun, 08-23-2009 - 9:10pm
Can i ask how old you are? Im assuming (for some reason, so forgive me if Im wrong) that you are at least into your mid 30's?
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sun, 08-23-2009 - 11:49pm

I'm barely 30, but I'm also a "fundamentalist" Christian, so it's just not an option for me.

And no, before I met my boyfriend, it didn't really limit my dating options anymore than other associated limitations did.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2009
Mon, 08-24-2009 - 4:34am

Ah, ok. I dont know anything about the Fundamentalist Christian religion, but I assume that means you cannot have a relationship with someone divorced.


& since you are younger than I thought, I suppose your dating pool wont be all that limited - b/c I dont think there are THAT many divorced late 20's & early 30 yr old men out there.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2008
Mon, 08-24-2009 - 6:18pm
I began OLD'ing when I was seperated, but I always put "single" on my profile but was honest about it with a guy if we went out for more than one date. I didnt feel that I was lieing by putting single, in all ways except that pesky piece of legal paper I WAS single! But it was complicated so I choose not to try to explain it in my profile but instead on a date by date basis.

Photobucket



Pages