Separated vs. Widowed
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Separated vs. Widowed
| Sat, 02-12-2005 - 10:50am |
I've noticed that almost every man I see online is willing to date someone who is separated but hardly anyone is willing to date someone who is widowed. . This doesn't make sense to me. Has anyone else noticed this?

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No, I hadn't noticed!! I'm not a man, but here's my theory: they don't like the competition. In other words, a woman has divorced a man because there's something wrong with him. But when someone is single only because her husband died, there's a strong chance she remains attached to his memory.
Guys?
I think there's a lot of truth to that Ann, even if it's just in the back of my mind. But truthfully, by the time a widow makes it back to the social scene she has already been through the grieving process. When you read a widow's profile (or meet her in a single's social situation) it is evident that she knows that life is for the living and she has moved on. It doesn't mean she has removed all past memories; it means she's ready to get involved again.
I think there is a silver lining to getting involved with a widow... she doesn't have the jaded viewpoint that some men and women carry with them into their new relationships.
No idea why men wouldn't check 'widows' but since I am one....
I've met with a couple Widows, and Luv can probably provide a better explanation, but most seemed to have moved on fairly quickly. A few seemed like they were living off the insurance.
That's a sweeping generalisation about moving on quickly, and yes, in my opinon we have less baggage. If I'm on an OLD site, then I'm past the grieving and moving on - have no choice, for myself and my family. And how dare you make assumptions about anyone's financial means or their life choices - did you ask for their financial statement up front, or discover that after one date?
MS
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
A woman must do what he can't.

MSJH...
Pianoguy wouldn't have a problem dating a widow.
>>This doesn't make sense to me. Has anyone else noticed this?<<
I haven't, but then I rarely search through guys' profiles. :)
FWIW, I think women are the same way- I bet there's more that put they're willing to date someone who is "separated" than are willing to date a widower.
Personally, I can't really get it. I don't date separated women, but a widow wouldn't scare me a bit.
The way I figure, at this point in my life (mid 30s), EVERY woman that I date is going to have a man or two or three in her past- probably a serious relationship. Even if she is "never married", it's almost certain that she'll have had a boyfriend at some point.
So a widow is just like other women in that respect. So what's the difference?
I'd have to guess that it's due to society's stereotype of a widow. Someone who is all bummed, grieving, and so forth. It's kind of silly because as already pointed out, if she's out there, dating, enjoying her life, odds are that she's back into the swing of things and is ready/willing for a new relationship.
My own profile says I'd date a widow, but not a separated woman. YMMV.
I have noticed a couple of profiles (guys) where the guy states clearly he is "trying to move on with his life"
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