In serious need of some advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
In serious need of some advice.
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 12:30pm
Okay so I never ever thought i would be one to be OLD but i guess everyone feels that way before it happens i never meant for it to happen actually i wasn't on a dating site or anything i met this guy on game we both play and I've known him for almost a year now we've been talking for about 8 months and it's pretty amazing we have yet to meet each other in real life yet we talk every single day and things seem amazing with a few catches we aren't really sure when we will be able to actually see each other i have no job currently and he just moved from Seattle to Oklahoma and is kinda starting over so it will be at least a few more months. The only thing that kinda bothers me is our age difference he is almost 4 years younger then me and i really never dated younger i just i don't know I'm head over heels for him he seems perfect but i worry sometimes that the fact we wont be able to meet for a while yet and the age difference will hinder us I've kinda brought it up to him but it doesn't seem to bother him at all. i just really don't know how to deal with the distance it gets so hard sometimes and i was wondering how some people cope with the distance like times when your home awaiting there call or something and your totally out of things to do what do you do to not be so antsy and impatient?
Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Sun, 10-25-2009 - 4:13pm

Even though you didn't "meet" him on an OLD site, the advice is the same: you really can't form a real relationship with someone online, regardless of whether you email each other every day. There is a danger that you both will develop an unrealistic picture of each other, and you just can't know someone unless you meet in person and begin to date. You also can't know if he's married or involved with other women--either where he lives or online. Many men have no intention of ever meeting women they correspond with online.

It's not clear from your post, but I assume you still live in different cities? Also, you don't say how old you are. Four years isn't a big deal if you're, say, 28 and he's 24. But if you're 20 and he's 16, that's more problematic. Of course, if all you want is a platonic, online friend, it doesn't matter really.

The best thing you could do is to get busy with other things in your life, including dating other men. You can always still plan to meet at some point (I'd advise you to have him travel to meet you), but know that long-distance relationships are really difficult, especially if you start out long distance. I'm not saying it can't work, but chances are, it won't.