setting up a date

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
setting up a date
7
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 9:39am
so i talked to a guy on the phone this past sunday for an hour, we had been emailing back and forth before that. It was a nice conversation and he asked me during it if i'd like to meet up at some point this weekend, i said sure. He said he would talk to me more during the week about it. He emailed me monday night telling me I seem really sweet, hope i had a safe ride home (i was away) and he joked that he was sorry about cutting into my desperate housewives time (joke on the phone). He said he looked forward to talking to me again soon and hoped we could meet up this weekend. He then threw in another, talk to you soon. So i wrote back saying he seemed really nice too and that yes hopefully we could get together this weekend, let me know. It's thursday and i havent heard from him. I know he is really busy during the week...but what is the norm for guys making weekend plans? i normally thought it would be wednesday...I'm a planner...why do i keep meeting so many guys who cannot make set plans!???? Even the guys i meet in 'real life' are not planners...they say this upfront sometimes. Whatever happened to making set plans for a date...ok i admit i have had some guy from OLD make set plans...but of course those were the ones i wasnt that into! lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 12:13pm

I'm somewhat in the same boat. Spoke to the guy this week and he's going to let me know what time on Saturday he can make it. I wouldn't worry at this point. I figure that because he said we were definately on that he'll let me know. I'm sure it's the same for you.

Have a great time...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 12:22pm

I don't think there's a general "norm"--there's what you prefer and what he prefers. If he's not a planner or is more of a last minute guy, then his "norm" will be last minute.

I would just go ahead and make plans as you normally would for the weekend and if he does call, then fit him in around your other plans. It's usually pretty easy to set up a coffee date for an hour or so even if you have other things going on--after all, he had time to talk to you on the phone for that long last Sunday, right?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Thu, 10-05-2006 - 1:03pm
yeah if i dont hear from him by tonight i'm going to assume we're not doing anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2006
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 1:54am
I'm usally not a huge planner but I dated a guy (from OLD) who once couldn't plan Saturday night at 3:30 pm on Saturday. I figured he was waiting to see if other potiental plans ended up happening but he no. That drove me nuts. I pointed it out to him at one point and things improved a bit after that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2006
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 2:48am

I don't like being the downer type - but I have some male friends that I've polled about this exact kind of scenario. They have all (independently) said that if a guy is really interested, he'll be sure that there are plans made and a date is set.

It’s really hard to hear this kind of feedback, especially when you like someone. But I’ve found that when I like someone and I’m not sure – I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and send an innocent email. Yeah, I might get a response – but I’d say for the most part men like to play the field and will only commit to something they are really into – no matter how busy they are!

It’s hard to understand as a women, where we like things clear, defined, and planned. If you’re looking for a partner that meshes well with you, they will be ecstatic to spend any time they can with you – and they will let you know they want to be with you! Any other guy isn’t worth fretting over.

Easier said than done. . .believe me I know!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 9:03am

Thanks, I agree that if a guy is really interested he will set up a date in advance...at least 2 days. I never heard from that guy! It does seem weird to me...you guys can all say it is totally normal, but to me it seems weird. I mentioned we had an hour phone conversation on sunday where he asked me if i'd like to get together maybe this weekend. I know he said 'maybe'. Then the next day he emails me this:

'it was good to talk to you last night...you sound like a really sweet girl...sorry..really sweet woman..;-) Hope you had a safe ride home from the Cape and sorry if I cut into your "desperate housewives" time....;-) I look forward to talking soon and hopefully we can meet up this weekend. Take care and I'll be talking to you soon.
best,'

I'm sorry but if he wasnt interested...why send that email after talking to me? I wrote back tuesday and havent heard from him since. I know he has a busy schedule...but no one is that busy

I also never heard back from that guy i had a date with last week...the one that went well, etc. So i'm feeling a bit bummed today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 9:27am

hmm, well guy #1 just wrote...

'how was your week? Mine still crazy? I was thinking maybe Saturday night if your around we could meet up? I'll call you later tonight after work..to catch up and see if we can make plans. Hope all is well and talk to you later.'