Sex on the first date..
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Sex on the first date..
| Tue, 05-03-2005 - 3:40pm |
Since I missed chat I thought I would find out what was discussed.
Can you have sex on the first date? Will it lead to something significant? Would you have sex on the first date?
I have had sex on a first date that led to an incredible relationship.
Thoughts????

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Jodie,
I've had sex on the first date numerous times and in all frankness, it doesn't even phase me in regards to the relationship. My saying is that if it feels right; why not. I've had cases where I waited a month or longer and it didn't seem to make a difference.
John
I had sex with my ex-husband on our first date. Obviously *THAT* turned into something significant (a 10 year r'ship including marriage)!
That said, I wouldn't do that now. Not because I think it's wrong or that things can't work out, but it doesn't work FOR ME anymore. I get too attached once I'm sleeping with someone and I'm not able to be objective about whether the man is a good potential partner or not. So, even if I find out things that I don't like about the guy a few months down the road, it's too late, I'm already hooked, and I try to FORCE the relationship to work. Plus, it makes me WAAAY more vulnerable emotionally...if I'd slept with every man I've dated for the last 8 years on the first date, I'd be a *basket case* (well, more of one than I already am!)!!!!
Two months, minimum, of regular dating (1-3 times a week) is my standard now.
Sheri
If this discussion is in regards to someone from OLD you just met, I would say no way in HELL should you, or would I, for that matter, ever sleep with them. Of course, I wouldn't ever sleep with someone on the first date period, even if I had known them for a while. You need to be in "dating mode" for a while IMO before you let sex enter the picture. You start with the physical stuff too early and it clouds your future judgement.
Besides, these days, you really can't be too careful, with all the STD's that are out there. In 99% of the first-date sex cases, I can't imagine you know each others detailed sex history very well if at all.
My honest opinion and experience talking.
Did you see the 2nd Oprah show he was on last week? He actually had VERY sound reasoning for his recommendation, I think.
Sheri
Yes, we did talk about this a little last night in chat. My opinion on the matter is to
do what feels right for you. If you have had bad luck sleeping with someone quickly in past relationships, maybe you would want to take it slow in the future.
I just don't really agree with JNITY guy. Not because I think people *should* have sex quickly, but because I don't like really hard and fast rules for every situation. If I really like a girl, and she wants to have sex after a couple of dates, it won't change my opinion of her, and it won't make me want to ghost.
I'm just such an "anti-rules" type of guy. Go with your heart and your gut.
Eric
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