Sex, Sex, Sex, and more Sex
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| Wed, 01-04-2006 - 1:37pm |
Okay, what is triggering this post has been some of the recent threads on this board and then a conversation I had with a gf of mine who met a man in the supermarket last week. They exchanged numbers and their first date was at 2:00 am (he apparently works 16 hours a week) and had sex. The 2nd date (or encounter) was the same – okay he showed up at 1:30 am and they had sex. While talking with me, she stated that she really didn’t know the guy that well (Duh!!!) nor was it great sex. No intimacy or passion, no kissing, etc. basically sex. They did kiss on the sofa and he was an awful kisser. Well their last conversation was to stop having sex and to spend time getting to know each other. She apparently was getting frustrated with him cause he would spend his days hanging with friends (or working) and then want to pop over afterwards. Mind you, when they first met, he said all the right things via telephone (wants a serious relationship, one woman man, blah, blah, blah) and she thought she hit the jackpot!! Anyway he agreed they should interact more (outside of the bedroom), but I’m sure as most of you guys know, he hasn’t called!
Some of the posters on this board, have had sex after 1-2 encounters (or dates) and/or considering sex with a potential guy who is not exhibiting appropriate behavior for a monogamous or committed relationship. Heck, even some of the posts for FWB have been lacking in the sex department. Yes, I understand the “go with the flow” attitude or mentality, but are we really having sex to fulfill our sexual needs or have most become so desensitized that having sex is on the same playing field with making a phone call???
Thoughts, please...........

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I'm with ya...if "fling guy" had turned out to be bad in bed, there would have been no encore...but luckily (or maybe not "luckily", given that it was temporary fling and therefore our encounters were limited in number ;-)) that was definitely NOT the case...plus he's a good kisser too. I also liked the fact that he treated me very respectfully and affectionately throughout (I swear, holding hands with him throughout all 2.5 hours of the Harry Potter movie will be one of my fondest memories of our little fling ;-)), and that we really enjoyed each other's company outside of the bedroom as well. I'm uncomfortable enough with the idea of a fling that if he had behaved boorishly or inconsiderately, it wouldn't have worked.
Sheri
I agree it's unfortunate that people bother having mediocre sex!
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No sex is MUCH better than bad sex. Plus, there's always solo sex - so why settle for a bad lover/bad boyfriend/loser in the meantime?
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I totally agree about no sex being better than bad sex. I've had bad sex & felt like crap afterward. Just felt like I was wasting my time, getting a guy off who had no clue how to please a woman. NEXT!
Oddly enough, all of my one night stands have been my choice...the men always come back for more but I don't always give seconds. LOL!
My thoughts are probably different than others because I'm waiting for marriage to have sex.
I don't think that people view sex as anything that requires a committment. My guess, and it's been confirmed by a few of my friends, is that sex is "just something else to do on a date". Is it wrong to think about sex like that? I don't see why it would be. If someone feels that their morals allow them to have sex with relative strangers, what's the issue?
Yeah, there are people who say that people get screwed up in relationships like this (I know I would) but really, if sex has been devalued as much as it has, what's the harm as long as everyone is careful? Does it really harm people's emotions that much?
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Survey says: X X X (And no, that's not a triple X.. that's from Family Feud! LOL) Bad sex is not worth it to me. If I'm going to have sex, I want it to be GOOD. Forget that--I want it to be GREAT. LOL
But I don't think an intimate connection can make it good if it stinks. I think sex is like dancing... No matter how much you like the person or no matter how much you drink, if the person can't dance... well they can't dance! Simple as that.
I can understand why a woman would go back a second time after ok sex... b/c we all know the first time can be awkward. But after the second time, if things don't look up... NEXT. LOL
I guess what also gets me is how women think they can jump into bed and then have the guy turn around and want a relationship... I've never understood that.
I know I'll get dinged for this, but I think that all this idea that women are the same as men...."hey go out and just have sex like a man" is desensitizing most people.
The reality is that most women can't just have sex and keep on rolling. When things don't work out, then we feel bad, used...
I think it's a shame that a lot of women (especially younger ones) settle for so little.
DING DING
Ok, I just totally had to do that... LOL Sorry!
I think you're right though.. most women cannot have sex w/o emotions getting involved...
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