Sex, Sex, Sex, and more Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2005
Sex, Sex, Sex, and more Sex
27
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 1:37pm

Okay, what is triggering this post has been some of the recent threads on this board and then a conversation I had with a gf of mine who met a man in the supermarket last week. They exchanged numbers and their first date was at 2:00 am (he apparently works 16 hours a week) and had sex. The 2nd date (or encounter) was the same – okay he showed up at 1:30 am and they had sex. While talking with me, she stated that she really didn’t know the guy that well (Duh!!!) nor was it great sex. No intimacy or passion, no kissing, etc. basically sex. They did kiss on the sofa and he was an awful kisser. Well their last conversation was to stop having sex and to spend time getting to know each other. She apparently was getting frustrated with him cause he would spend his days hanging with friends (or working) and then want to pop over afterwards. Mind you, when they first met, he said all the right things via telephone (wants a serious relationship, one woman man, blah, blah, blah) and she thought she hit the jackpot!! Anyway he agreed they should interact more (outside of the bedroom), but I’m sure as most of you guys know, he hasn’t called!

Some of the posters on this board, have had sex after 1-2 encounters (or dates) and/or considering sex with a potential guy who is not exhibiting appropriate behavior for a monogamous or committed relationship. Heck, even some of the posts for FWB have been lacking in the sex department. Yes, I understand the “go with the flow” attitude or mentality, but are we really having sex to fulfill our sexual needs or have most become so desensitized that having sex is on the same playing field with making a phone call???

Thoughts, please...........

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 2:00am
Hi there!
I actually read this in some advice book geared to answer questions about couple sex (it was in the section about differences in sex drive: one partner wants more sex than the other). So, the author was cliaming that soemtimes women might think htey want(are going for) sex, when in actuality what they want is intimacy (exactly the closeness,kissing, fondling, etc. that you described...) It was an eye opener for me (who would usually go for sex early in the relationship): and no, the men didn't disappear,never happened to me, but the point was, I think, that I wanted an ïnstarelationship", what I was longing for was the closeness and intimacy (and I went for the sex). Now I realize that sex cannot give you this: plus, if you end up in a longterm, fulfilling relationship , you'll end up having all the sex in the world, I fugured... Well, still have to put my insights to practice... just my 2 cents...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 6:55am

All that is soooo true, Fiesty Girl. Us women are *generally* (probably on average) looking for affection and intimacy as much as sex or maybe more in some cases. I wanted it all! I got it! :))

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 7:12am

Yes, I've come to learn that about myself. I get much more from the closeness and intimacy than I do from the actual *O*. I can do that myself afterall....lol.

That's why self-help is so unfulfilling in the long run. It only accomplishes one aspect of it all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 9:01am
Oh that's not true...I don't even get remotely emotional when the rabbit comes out of the drawer...
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 10:34am

Get real,

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 10:48am

I don't use it THAT much. lol

Phoenix sometimes we have to step away from the drawer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 01-05-2006 - 10:52am
Ya'll are too much! hehehe

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