SEX/Dating question...
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SEX/Dating question...
| Tue, 04-03-2007 - 10:50pm |
This is kind of a delicate issue. When you find someone you like and want to have sex with them, how do you approach the STD issue??
Do you insist on an AIDS/herpes/STD test before you have sex for the first time? Or do you both agree to start the test process and use condoms until the results come back. As I'm sure many of you know, a person can have herpes outside of the area protected by the condom, so how do you deal with that?
Women, be honest, please.

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In my relationship while i was dating my BF and before sex I told him I hadn't been intimately involved with anyone in a year and had been recently tested (when i get my pap I have everything done including STD testing) so I had my report card so-to-speak. He too had his yearly physical recently but I'm sure he had sex w/in the year unlike myself.
I'm curious about this too. I brought this up with one guy I was dating and he looked at me like I was from another planet. One of my friends and I concluded that most guys are more concerned about getting you pregnant than STD's.
Come on girls how do you handle this issue?
Hey SP and all...
You should all be aware that the normal STD testing that you receive with your pap absolutely, positivly DOES NOT INCLUDE TESTING FOR HERPES. So if you think when you had your yearly checkup and when the gyn or pa say they will test you for all std's and then you get your results...you still don't know whether you have herpes or not. No standard STD panel includes herpes testing. Same with the guys....if they ask to be tested for STD's a dr does not include herpes testing. Even if you do know to ask, "Does that include a herpes test?" most docs will say if you haven't had symptoms or knowingly slept with someone with herpes why bother. OY!
There are limited ways to test for herpes...if you are having an active outbreak then the blisters can be swabed for a PCR test (I think that is what it is called), however believe that this test will not tell you if you have HSV1 or HSV2. The other test is a blood test that will identify the antibodies and can tell you if you have HSV1 or HSV2. BTW...HSV1 is the "cold sore" virus and can show up orally or genitally. HSV2 is the strain that primarily will show up only genitally, but rare cases of this type can show up orally. This means a person can have genital HSV1, oral HSV1, genital HSV2, and very rarely oral HSV2.
More fun bits...before any sores ever show up (or even if they don't) this virus can "shed" on the skin prior to all outbreaks (this isn't something you can see) and be passed to someone with skin to skin contact. A general rule of thumb is that anywhere in the boxer short area is considered fair game for shedding virus to be present. For oral outbreaks the virus can be shedding in a larger area than just your lips and chin, too. So, yeah, a condom ain't gonna cover that much...not even a Magnum XL. Some people get outbreaks on their nose, some have sores on their tailbone, some on their butt, sometimes right on their genitals, sometimes on the inside of the thigh.
FINALLY...A couple of other fun facts....people can have herpes and not know it. There are many folks who are asymptomatic, meaning they do not have outbreaks yet carry the virus, shed the virus, and never see a blister. lesion, or cold sore. I have never let a nasty looking penis anywhere near me and yet...I know so much about herpes! Now how do ya think THAT happened?!?!;-)
There is so much dang misinformation and assumptions made about this virus that I am complelled to get up on my soapbox (lovingly) to try to educate folks whenever I can. Hope ya'll have a great night! :P (backing away into lurkdom hoping I don't get stoned to death!!)
xo
XRG
spanky, let me ask you this: when you contracted genital herpes, was your partner wearing a condom? I suspect a lot of people don't think you can get herpes while using a condom, but the truth is you can if the herpes site of infection is outside of the area of the condom on the infected person. For example, the thigh area, or somewhere in the pelvic area, or on a man, even on his testicles.
Some women don't seem to mind taking that risk, thinking that the condom is okay. I don't understand this. This is the reason I waited so long to have sex even though I was dying for it. I want my sexual partner/bf when I get one to be tested for all STDs. I did after the last person I slept with. And being tested once after a sexual encounter is not enough, you need to be tested again six months later (maybe the recommended interval between testing has been changed to sooner, I don't know).
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