The A-Sexual Guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
The A-Sexual Guy
16
Mon, 10-16-2006 - 2:01pm

OK, here's a new thread for everyone; we have all encountered lazy men who will make no effort in the dating game. I believe I have encountered, at least once if not twice, men who are not gay by any stretch of the imagination but are quite content to lead a somewhat "hermit" existence with no real significant other in their lives.

The one guy I was after for about 4 years was this way. Same one who finallly told me he did not "need" a woman. A psychic friend of mine was the one who said that he had met very few people who he considered to be "A-sexual", so they are not gay, but they simply do not need the intimate relationships that most ..can I say "normal" people want and crave. Psychic friend is convinced that is what my old guy friend was and is. At one point, quite honestly, it would have been a relief to have found out he was gay, but deep down, I never really believed that. To this date, this guy has not dated hardly at all (I know of one woman he went out with after he and I quit seeing each other and that did not last long either).

I'm afraid I have set my sights on yet another guy of this nature. The guy I gave my phone number to a while back (and acted very interested in me always before). I have reasons to believe now, quite possibly, that he's avoiding me. Not sure on that, but he did not stop today at the restaurant that he and I usually frequent once or twice a week. I saw his truck go by in the parking lot but not pull in, and there was ample parking spaces. I am paranoid in believing that he saw my car and decided to "pass". Could be my imagination for why he did not stop, but that is the way my mind runs. Psychic friend is saying he has some of the same traits as my other guy who simply did not "need a woman". I must say that I "thought" that this new guy was a little more interested than that.

Has anyone else encountered someone you would describe like this? You know for sure that they are not gay, but they act like they are just as happy with no one as they are with someone. Maybe they do not want to risk hurt ever again. I sort of know that feeling, but after so long, loneliness does creep back in.

Stories?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: mitsy2
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 5:39am
rofl .... I know ALL about THAT! My sex drive sucked too ... but lemme tell ya, it sure is better NOW!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
In reply to: mitsy2
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 3:54pm
Yeah, a guy I dated casually for a while was similar to this.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: mitsy2
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 7:16am
Misty, I'm confused so help me out... the new guy had interest but then it was lost? I guess I'm not understanding your connection of him being asexual to him just not following through? Is it possible that he just lost interest for whatever reason?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
In reply to: mitsy2
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 12:00pm
I don't know what is going on with the new guy. My psychic friend is the one who thinks he might be "a-sexual", but predictions are not always correct, so I take that bit of info with a grain of salt. What I think is interesting that there are guys who simply do not really need close intimate relationships with women. That is hard for me to understand, but apparently it is not a totally foreign mentality. As we get older, I would think people would be wondering about being alone when they are older. Maybe women worry about it more than men do. :0
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: mitsy2
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 5:47am
I think some people do worry about it and others are just fine with being single for the rest of their life... Maybe it would help to start here: According to your psychic friend, what does the term "a-sexual" mean? Maybe she/he is definining it differently?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
In reply to: mitsy2
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 10:18am
He defines it as not needing intimate (sexual or romantic) relationships period. Not with the opposite sex nor with the same sex. They just do not need it. This is sort of a hard concept for me to understand, especially thinking about a guy being this way. But, I do have a couple girlfriends who seem to fit into the same category. Neither one seems to be interested in dating nor do they miss sex, but I know for certain that they are not gay. They just seem to be content without a guy in their lives. I have been content at times, but after over 7 years of singleness, I'm sick of it never working out for me. :(

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