SHOCKED and dismayed
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| Fri, 05-19-2006 - 10:49am |
I've certainly had my share of bad luck with dating but it's at the point where it's completely ridiculous. Over the last few months, I've had 3 experiences where a guy has disappeared without warning or explanation after about 3 dates. This is always a surprise to me because I had been thinking that things were going great. Some of my friends have suggested that since I typically find my dates online, I'm more likely to find men who skew towards being unreliable and commitment phobic. I think once men meet me, they realize I'm not into the casual sex thing but am more of relationship type person. I don't overtly state that I'm looking for a relationship because I don't want to scare them away, I try to let things develop at their own pace.
Anyway, what happened to me last night takes the cake. I had been e-mailing with a guy I met online for about a week (we never talked on the phone). He seemed incredibly sweet and genuine (told me about the wonderful things he did for his mom on mother's day and how much he likes to take care of the people he loves.) He talked about how he couldn't believe how much we had in common and a couple times he said that I'm "a woman after his own heart." We made plans to meet up for a drink after work last night. I e-mailed him yesterday after lunch to firm up plans and suggested a time and place to meet. He said it sounded good and also mentioned how slammed he was at work, had a lot of issues going on, had major stuff dumped on his plate and he had to skip lunch, etc. I told we could meet up later or he could even call me whenever he was ready to leave work (and I gave him my number), but he said "We'll stay with 5 and if I'm running later, I'll give you a call that way you're not sitting there waiting for me for who know's how long if I were to run late with all this! LOL I'm gonna need a drink by the end!" Well I went to the bar at 5 and he never showed up nor called! I waited for over 30 minutes and then left. I've not received any call or e-mail from him. I'm completely dumbfounded. I know that you need to keep low expectations when meeting someone new but his behavior was such a disconnect from all the sweet and seemingly genuine e-mails.
I really don't know what to make of this or what to do and I'd love to have some advice. Thanks in advance.

First, I'm sorry to hear you got stood up; there is NO reason for that. Heck, he could have text messaged your phone if anything......ugh! What a jerk!
That just SUCKS & there is NO excuse for it. I too am appalled that someone could do that.
I have so been there! This guy I was in touch with pressured me to schedule a meet with him on a weekend I had friends visiting from out of town, he was so insistent about it! I did (of course, it was after my friends left), I dragged myself there , even though I was coming down with something, but said to myself: "hey, I don't want him to think I am making excuses"... After waiting for him for 25 min! he calls to say: "Oh, I am so sorry, I got held up with friends at a restaurant and I didn't have signal to call you earlier". WTF!!!! I am not even discussing the lame-ass "emergency" here, but the blatant lie that a Cingular customer didn't have signal in a restaurant in West Hollywood, LA! Give me a break... What happened to good'old public phones!? Or simple good manners!
I have no advice for you, and even though I didn't care particularly for this guy (I keep email/phone communication to a minimum before we meet), I felt disgusted (I have never, ever in my life stood anybody up -- not friends, not dates, nobody!) On top of it, he had the nerve to call me again and ask if we could reschedule, at which point I told him that our differences in communication style and views on social obligations make it pointless to try to get to know each other.When I think of it, I can feel my blood boiling...Well, I guess I needed to vent tooo. But of course, the good guys are out there too! :)