Should I contact him?
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| Sun, 08-21-2005 - 9:15am |
I need some advice. I want to get in touch with this guy again, but I'm not sure that I should (a friend tells me I need to get him out of my system and move on but I can't seem to). Here's the scenario....
I met this guy on-line. Our first meeting, we met for drinks and it seemed to be going well. I was very attracted to him and I was so excited because I was already attracted to his profile. We had a lot of things in common plus he was adorable! He was a little insecure and shy (I am also, especially around new people) so it was hard to read things, but I was definitely interested in meeting him again. I emailed him the next day to say thanks and that I enjoyed meeting him and he said he thought I didn't have fun. He didn't really believe me and I didn't chat with him for a couple days but I sent him and email after that telling him otherwise and then we started chatting through IM on a daily basis (at work and at home at night). We had some great conversations (funny and flirtatious and we got to know a lot more of each other) and I really wanted to go out again. Problem was I had to go away for a couple weeks soon after that so I wasn't going to be able to see him until I returned. Right before I left he wrote me and said that he'd see me when I got back.
When I got back I noticed things were a little different in our messages back and forth. I was waiting for him to ask me out again, and he wasn't, so I finally did it myself. He said sure and we could do something next week and he'd let me know for sure. A few days pass and we are still chatting on line but he doesn't mention the date and then all of a sudden I get an IM from him telling me that he met someone else. He said he was sorry and he felt bad. I told him I was disappointed but I guess that's the way things go, and that I just wish he had said something sooner instead of leading me to believe that he'd go out with me again. He apologized again and that was the end of that.
A few months have gone by, and I see that he is back on the market (his profile was back on-line and he unknowingly sent a wink to an acquaintance of mine). I was hoping he'd try and contact me again, since I am still on line too, but he hasn't. I'm still smitten and want to write to him but I don't want to seem desperate. What should I do??

Listen to your friend, she was right. He is not interested. Move on.
And when you email him again, as I know you will, be prepared to be rejected all over again.
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I disagree, considering her story and how it played out. He'd probably feel like a creep if he contacted her now that his thing, that he chose to involve himself in while she was gone didn't pan out. I think this was a matter of timing. I think she also sees the innoncence of him pursuing something else when she went away...after all they'd only gone out once or twice and there was no committment yet and then she went away. I dont think she expected him to wait around and he didn't. He probably had some "stacked" up when he met her as well.
I SAY GO FOR IT...contact him. Whats the worse that can happen? Rejection? Well...that wouldnt be too bad considering that there is no love invested yet. Risk what you can afford to lose. KWIM? Sometimes timing is everything and it goes in both directions.
Let us know what you decide and how it works out =)
Lizzie
I really don't know what I'm going to do. Honestly, I'll probably do nothing for now as I continue to meet new people on line. It was just that after one bad date after another, it was so refreshing to meet someone that I really liked and had a lot in common with and I was pretty sure the feeling was mutual and definitely at least worth another date. So, if the bad dates keep continuing, if anything, I may send him friendly a hello through the site to say I saw you're profile and I'm sorry to see that you're still on-line...or something like that. LOL
It was my feeling also that he probably felt like a jerk getting in touch with me again after he told me he started seeing someone else. Especially since I knew he was a little shy and insecure to begin with. But for all I know that was just his way of nicely telling me he wasn't interested. :)
Thanks for the input!