should I give up???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2003
should I give up???
Sat, 10-18-2003 - 3:40pm
Hi everyone,

It has been quite a while since my last post. I dumped the guy I meet in AZ...and he just decided to cancel every trip we had planed to meet...He had too many issues, and did not respect women...waste of time, but I guess we live and learn right ladies? I gave the online dating thing another chance. I meet a nice guy, and we hit it off...three weeks later his job sent him to FL. I am unsure if we will work out...He is divorced with a son, and unsure of a long term relationship...Not sure if I want another long distance relationship...his job can send him anywhere within the US, and he is in the Army...I am thinking this guy might not be the one. The problem is how long should I wait for him... we care for eachother, but is that enough? I even have a bad feeling he might be married...

I am at the point where I want to give up...Three strikes and your out right??? I have tried this, and I feel like I am getting nowhere...

Everyone has had this it possible to find the one?? Maybe I should try a few online dating services in my area...or give up??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 10-18-2003 - 8:24pm

I've been down that dusty road. For me it was just looking locally, I just can't deal with the distance. Do some soul searching hun and see if it is for you. If not that is fine and just try what is in your area.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 2:39pm
I think you should use the internet as a way to have that first email, which then leads to a phone number by the second email, a phone call soon after and meet within a week - anything much more drawn out is a fantasy and a waste of precious time, IMHO.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 6:59pm

If he doesn't give you a phone number (or ask for yours) by the second email what do you do? Do you ask for his? Do you offer yours? I think I recall you mentioning once that you don't have a cell phone (but I might be mistaken). Do you give out your home number? I respect how you handle dating, that's why I'm asking.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-20-2003 - 7:09pm
99% of the time, when I respond to the first email asking for his phone number, I get it or I get no response at all. Less than one percent of the time the man has viewed it as a double standard (oh, please) or the second email ignores the request (usually there is no "well I need to know more about you" but once or twice I got - "I am not ready for that step" - in that case, I move on). I do not have a cell phone - sometimes if I get an answering machine and the voice sounds normal and especially if I have his last name, I will give my home phone number since I answer the phone at work with my last name. I would say the majority of the time the man thanks for me for wanting to talk quickly and agrees with me that email is irrelevant as far as getting to know a stranger who you might wish to date.

What I do not prefer/like are emails after they have my number but we haven't met yet - chatty emails, that is - or an email after a date to ask for another date - why not call - why be so impersonal - are you that afraid of rejection?

On Thursday I am meeting a man who wrote to me 2 years ago - we spoke, really clicked by phone but I would not meet him because his divorce was final for only 8 months and I told him he could call me after it was final for a year. Well, he had two relationships that didn't work out and ended up agreeing with my one year rule, for the most part.