should i give up???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2009
should i give up???
17
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 12:29am
So as we all obviously are on the dating sites I got matched with a guy. We talked through a free communication then later I decided to email him. He said he was really excited to hear from me and would talk to me soon, we seemed to have so much in common, blah blah blah. I sent a quick reply talking about out shared interests and wished him fun on his weekend trip and still haven't heard back a little over a week later. My bff thinks he's just busy I think maybe he changed his mind. Any thoughts or suggestions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 10:21pm

I was thinking along the same lines. When I read the OPs last message I was thinking "you haven't even met him yet and you are making excuses for his actions". I think its time to look at more options and focus less on this one.

No one should settle. If you are accepting behavior that isn't what you would hope for, then maybe you need to take a step back and think about what you want and what you are willing to accept. Remember that dating is about getting out and having fun while meeting people. If it is stressful, it may not be right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 8:29pm

I'm really not wanting to rain on your parade but look at the inconsistency:


>I know that texting does not a relationship make, but we have done ALOT in the past two days. Plus he was in town to see a friend and check out for his new place since he's moving here for work. I understand that he's got a lot on his plate and while he might be interested he has not a lot of time. <


He made time to see a friend in town.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2009
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 2:35pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2009
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 4:58pm

Agree about her sending him that email – but, don’t beat yourself up, OP. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 4:18pm
Yes I also find it very strange to try talking to someone I don't know on the phone. It's easier to meet in person cause you get more of their personality, besides you're usually doing something so you don't feel that you have to talk every single second. I'd rather just use the phone to quickly get a time/place to meet rather than try to get a long phone conv. And of course, my other problem is not really having good times to talk unless my kids are out of the house. One time this summer when I made my brief attempt at OLD I told a guy to call me on a certain night cause the kids were going to be at their dad's and in the summer, they always come home late. So of course, that night they came home early and my DS & I had started watching a DVD when he called & my DS was nagging me to ask when I was coming back to watch TV. And my house is very old so even if you go in another room, it's hard not to be heard.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 1:50pm

I had a guy who was emailing me back and forth for a week, he was really prompt about replying, sent me his number, I sent him mine and I never heard from him. A few weeks later I sent another email, asking in a friendly way if he was still interested in meeting, he very promptly replied that indeed he was, and I never heard from him.

I don't know if some guys are terrified of the phone or what. Personally, I hate the first phone call and would rather meet straightaway for coffee or a drink than spend time with awkward silence on the phone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2003
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 1:46pm
I totally agree with Sheri. If a guy is really interested, he takes the minute or two to let you know he is interested but busy instead of leaving you hanging and he contacts you to make plans to meet as soon as he can.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 12:17pm

Agree with the PP re the texting...try to move to talking on the phone and meeting in person ASAP.


And while of course there are exceptions, in my experience and what I've seen other women go through, as a rule, if you have to prod a guy into contacting you (you sending him that email), even though he may respond, it will usually fizzle, since if he were really interested in the first place, he would have contacted you on his own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 8:36am

I'm glad he responded!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2009
Sun, 01-10-2010 - 6:40am
Just a cautionary note:

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