Should I have given him a second chance?
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| Tue, 08-08-2006 - 10:47pm |
Hey everyone.
I don't have a lot of dating experience online or otherwise, but this is what happened.
I met him online. Via emails and a couple of phone conversations, he appeared to be a good prospect. We were in the same line of work, he could write well and, hold a conversation. As matter of fact, he wrote in his profile that he had no problem being honest (I know..I know, anyway it was nice to hear). One of his most endearing qualities, was that he had a "special needs" child and was with her every other weekend and could take of her by himself. He let me know that he was free to date on his off weekends when she was with her mother, just as long as I didn't mind her calling him frequently. This did occur, and he would take the calls in my presence, so I know he was real as far as his kids were concerned.
Anyway, we had two really good long dates and I thought we enjoyed each other. But aththe end of the second date he did want to have sex..it was too soon for me. We didn't and the evening ended mature, but still a little awkward. So the usual happened... he said he'd call me the next day. Well he called a few days later, but on my home phone in the afternoon, when I am obviously working. (Why not the cell number?) Well I figured he is not interested in seeing me anymore and was just making a courteous call, and was really just interested in sex, so I put him and everything else related to him out of my mind and moved on.
Almost three months later, he calls! The voice was familiar, but that was it. He had to refresh my memory of who he was. We chatted for a few minutes. I laughingly asked him was he "going through his book". He said no, he didn't have a book, but he would not lie and could not tell me why he was calling me again after three months. He said he did enjoy my company and perhaps we could go out again. My attitude was , "Yea, whatever".
A week later, he calls, and leaves a message wondering how am I doing, and if I have plans for weekend. I never returned the call.
Was I being hasty, or was I on the mark?
Thanks

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Hmmmm, based on my current understanding of the male psyche---You felt you were
rejecting his sexual advances but not rejecting him. His interpretation: you were rejecting him.
If you liked other things about him, by all means give him another chance to take you on a nice date. I don't see why you can't be up front with him and tell him you prefer to take things slowly, thus your hesitation.
Stephanie
Thanks Maryanne,
I'll think about that. I'm always open to friendship. He did turn me on...it was just moving too fast.
You see, I felt he was mature when we began communicating. I became disappointed and disillusioned by his reaction to "not yet for sex".
Still considering. But I won't wait three months.
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