Should I just give it a miss?
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| Thu, 01-12-2006 - 4:26pm |
I've been thinking about T and the whole "relationship" with him. We have a dinner/movie planned for Saturday (it's Friday morning here) and I haven't heard from him since Wednesday when I initiated it (yes I like him and I want to see him). Usually he would "touch base" at some point. I know he's busy with work and maybe he'll contact me toay but I'm not counting on it.
I think there is some sort of attraction between us. He said that the moment he sat down next to me for the first time he knew he liked me and I have to admit that the night when I met him (speed dating) I said to myself yes I would date this guy!
But what bothers me now is that each time I see him, he is in "brother" mode then all of a sudden, he changes to "lover" mode... like he doesn't even touch me when he is not in "lover" mode. I guess with him switching from one mode to another it makes me hard to talk about or show my feelings. I do stand close to him etc but I don't make the first move... well maybe he expects me to, but he's the guy!!!
Since we have dinner planned on Saturday I will go and give it another chance cos I do like him a lot and I want to say the above to him. But I think if things don't improve I will give it a miss. He likes me, he is keen but I just don't feel that he is madly in "like" (I don't expect love straight away!) with me. I don't know what he is looking for (he said he's getting used to and getting to know me...) and I will ask him again... What do you think?

A couple things:
1. I wouldn't be comfortable with his brother/lover thing. I probably would have stopped seeing him after NYE because of it...I need someone who is affectionate outside the bedroom (him not even kissing you at midnight when you'd already *slept* together was just inexcusable, IMO). But if you're curious, then ask about THAT specifically, not what he's looking for. Knowing the answer to that question will not tell you whether he can or is willing to be affectionate with you or not.
2. He didn't really answer the question of what he's looking for last time...if you do ask him that question again, make it clear that you are asking *in general*, not with respect to what he's looking for *with you*...obviously it's too soon to know that.
Sheri
If you really have to know about how he feels ask in a sarcastic way and then show that you are able to make fun of his Brotherly actions and how different they are from what you expect in your partner. Whenever you put humour into the question it gets less scary to others
good luck!
Well since I genuinely like him and going to give the whole thing one more chance (if we do go to the movies/dinner on Saturday), am I a nutcase if I do this (for the brother/lover part):
I'll go with his flow when I first see him as I have been doing before. And if we are walking down the street or something I will initiate holding hands (yeah ok ok I will initiate... gosh men are stupid!) and see his reaction and say cheekily "there's no need to pretend to be my brother! You know I like holding hands with someone I like"--- hahahahaha (oh that's a bad one... any suggestion on this?)
And when we go to the movies I will snuggle up to him. And if he looks at me and says "what?" at any point, I would smile and say "Hey I like you, ok"
Either he will run or he will stay and go with my flow... I will know the answer.
Am I nuts?!!! heeheheheh