Should I just suggest a date?
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Should I just suggest a date?
| Sat, 11-04-2006 - 9:41pm |
So I have been emailing this guy for almost a week. He mentioned right now he is home, but in two weeks he will be travelling for business and then in December he will be going on vacation.
So I said maybe we could get together one day. He replied back that he would like to meet me. Its a matter of when and where. He basically said has very limited time but he'd like to meet me someday...soon. I replied back that its no rush and to let me know whenever hes free. He replied back that its okay to take our time if I want....
So, I'm not sure if he is interested in meeting or not... Should I just email and throw out a date and see what he says? Thanks.

Well...here is my take on this ...it has been just a week...you have PUT it out there as you said, you did mentioning meeting up, and his response was rather non-committal - and that's ok.
Try not to get hung-up on the 'relationship' as it stans now - as I have learned it is sometimes an illusion...we see what we want...we are 'fulfilled' by the attention and more importantly the feeling that we are expereiencing by all of the attention by Mr. O/L...
My suggestion would be this...you have put the proverbial ball in his court... Let him run with it. If he doesn't than he is not worth your investment of time or emotion. I would not be surprised if just a wee bit of letting go - will make him linger over the potential that the two of you may have in meeting together.
Cheers!
Way to go! I would have done the same thing. It seems to work better for me to encourage action rather than wait for it to happen. That suits my personality...if someone is going to shy away because I was 'forward' they probably won't like me anyway.
You never know what they're thinking. Maybe he's busy, or has another girl on the line, or shy...and you'll never find out if you don't actually meet him.
Okie, he replied to my email. I'll post his reply and then I'll post my reply back. Can you tell me if I sound defensive or too abrupt? I just want him to know I am open to any day he may suggest...
(His reply:)
Hi,
I may be available on Sunday evening. I have my daughter on the weekends and I bring her home Sunday at dinner. I may be free then. I might be free during the week sometime as well. Let's play it by ear. Are you available during the week to go out for a drink or coffee?
What part of (city) do you live in?
(My reply:)
Oh no, I think we're going to come across some conflicts...I have my daughter during the week! LOL.
We can try and keep it to next Sunday... or we can try Friday... or I am going for sushi tonight (downtown) and you are welcome to join us... or let me know what day is free for you...
I am on (street).
Okie, off to do stuff now. Bye!
No, I don't think you sounded abrupt--if anything you sounded almost overly accommodating, IMO.
I would have been tempted to say, "well, sorry, with my schedule with my daughter (I have her during the week from , playing it by ear is pretty much an impossiblity, I have to plan ahead. I can do X day at Y time or A day at B time. Let me know if either works for you".
And who is the "us" for sushi tonight that he'd be joining?
Sheri
Oh I should've mentioned who the us is. It would be just my and me going out for dinner. Do you think he thinks the 'us' may be referring to my daughter?
So, you think I was too accommodating? I know he has read my email. I just have to wait for his reply.
I just don't get it - he wants to meet me but he is iffy on setting a date....
Yes, that was definitely my impression (that it was you and your daughter), but that's why I asked rather than assuming.
I wouldn't count on him being sincere about "wanting to meet you" until he sets and keeps that first meet appointment. People say things that they don't mean all the time online.
Sheri
You're right. At least with me putting it out there, I will know soon enough if he is a flake.
So, I'm not going to email him, I'll just wait for him to actually set the date.
Ugh, my Ex could never pick a time or date for anything...always wanted to leave his options open until the last minute. I hated it! So this guy really rubbed me the wrong way.
He said:
I may be available on Sunday evening.------I thought: Hello? Today is Saturday, when will you figure it out?
I have my daughter on the weekends and I bring her home Sunday at dinner.------I thought: Hello? If you really want to see me, you'll commit to dropping her off at 6 so you can meet me for a drink at 7.
I may be free then.-----Hello again?
I might be free during the week sometime as well. ------We will all be free sometime this week, but nothing happens until you decide to say WHEN and WHERE.
Let's play it by ear.-----------Play what by ear? All I have heard so far is ambivalence.
Are you available during the week to go out for a drink or coffee?------okay, maybe I am, but if I pick a date and time will you say you MAY be free then?
IMHO if one person suggest a date and time that isn't good, the other person, if they are serious, should suggest an alternative date and time. Not "Let's play it by ear."
I may sound harsh, and if so I apologize because I don't know anything about you or this guy. But if it were me: NEXT!