Should I lie about my age?
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| Thu, 12-07-2006 - 9:37am |
Okay, it's a rhetorical question. I'm not going to lie about my age. But boy, am I tempted!
I'm turning 51. I also just rejoined online dating after several months of having decided it wasn't for me. (It still isn't for me, but there also isn't anything else.)
So here I am, on Yahoo this time (I was on Match before) and my search parameters are men 46 to 60. I don't want to go over 60 because most men over 60 are looking to retire (or have already retired) and I am not there yet. But most of the men 46 to 55 want women under 45. It's amazing. We're not talking youthful hunks here. We're talking your ordinary, balding medium-weight to heavy male with yowls and some wrinkles.
The thing about me is that though I am not fit and slender, I easily look 5 to 10 years younger than my age. (Not to myself. To myself I look aged. But when people consistently make mistakes about my age and express amazement that I have grown children, I begin to believe that I look 5 to 10 years younger.) So I _could_ lie about my age and get away with it.
And I am tempted because it might get some guy who has set his parameters for under 50 women to take a look at me and maybe like my profile. On the other hand, who wants to go out with a guy who wants only women who are younger than he? And who wants to start a possible relationship with a lie?
So I am not going to lie about my age. I just wish there were more men out there in my age bracket who were looking for companionship their own age instead of wanting younger women. Ah well.
So far I have had three guys (all older than me) interested. None of them are all that exciting, but I need to stop being picky.
My question is: has anyone here lied about her (or his) age? What has happened?
Elsa

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I don't think women age as well as men. Men look dignified when their faces sag, women just look old. It's a cultural thing. We're conditioned to see it that way.
I agree that guys who want only younger women are not guys I really want to get involved with. But when of the 40 guys in your age range who meet your search criteria one day (location, non-smoking, graduate degree, active in the past month) 24 do not want women over 50, you kind of want to lie.
My own family story about lying about age concerns a cousin of my mother's who lied about his age to appear older. He was 18 and fell for a 25 year old woman. Because he was balding prematurely, he passed for 26. He told her the truth after she agreed to marry him. They are still married after 40 something years.
Still, I am not going to lie.
Elsa
Mark,
Yes, you're right. I wouldn't trust someone who lied. But you must admit it is tempting.
Elsa
Hi,
I have never lied about my age, but I wanted to share with you.. I met ONE(only one) very awesome gentleman on eharmony. We dated for a few weeks, and after meeting my family and seeing my home(we are all adults here), he decided I was TOO YOUNG! He was afraid of what his kids would think. I am 46. He is 56, so his kids are probably 10 years or so younger than me.....ya just can win ..
I contacted him by email recently, and he has been pleasant and we have exchanged emails a bit, but what a shame! We could probably having some fun if his kids didn't get a vote..or if he wasn't using them for an excuse.Unfortunately, there's no way to tell the difference at this stage.
E
Yeah, isn't it funny (and sad) that a guy turned you down for being too young! If his kids are only 10 years younger than you, he must have started his family early. No reason to treat the 10 year difference between the two of you as too great.
What a shame. There just aren't that many good matches out there.
Elsa
Why don't you tempt the guys with something else besides a younger age *wink*?
Mark
What do you have in mind, Mark? Should I go to one of those glamour-picture places and take a couple of photos that emphasize my cleavage? ;)
Or should I borrow a friend's little roadster and be photographed lying seductively across the hood?
;)
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