Should I meet this guy or not? Ideas?
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| Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:25pm |
I have met an online guy thru this friends websites out there. He semmed very comfortable emailing me and then he asked me for my MSN in order to chat simultaneosuly. He seemed like a nice guy as well. So then we exchange email addresses and now we just chat. I have met him like 3 weeks ago. According to what he has told me is that he enjoys very much chatting with me, he thinks Im an attractive, nice, special lady. I dont know if in 3 weeks a person can say that from you. He told me that he will like to meet me to hang out as friends, have coffee, go out, etc. I told him it was too soon he told me that what he said, he meant it. He likes me very much, he is nuts for me. SO I told him it was too soon and he got upset, he told me, he likes me a lot that he will like to kiss me and be very very close friends. He is like infatuated with me, that is what I think. But before he told me his plans, he is a nice guy, he seems that way, only that I think he has come forward way too quick and besides we dont even know personally. He told me that he had a bad experience in January with a girl, more than a friend he met but not on chat but personally, the girl let him down and he was devastated.
He is 12 yrs younger than me and single but he told me he does not mind the age when friendship comes ahd he wants me not to mind that as well.
He told me that he is very mature and know how to treat a lady well.
Now should I meet this guy in the following weeks, or is it too soon? He wants to meet me, but we have only chat with each other for 2 weeks but he wants to meet me and we bedcome friends.
How long should I wait? Any ideas? Or even, should I even met him at all and only stick to chat? He does not want to let down again.

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Why is it "too soon"? Why not meet for the guy for an hour for coffee and see if you hit it off in person? You can't get to know someone through email and chat, and you can't tell whether you'll have chemistry or not until you meet in person.
HOWEVER, I do think that the fact that he's talking about kissing you before you've even met is somewhat of a red flag, so I'd be very cautious of any attempts on his part to get physical with you before you've spent a lot of time together. He may just be looking for sex and thinking that a woman who is 12 years older than he is is an easy target.
Or he could just be clueless...but you won't know until you meet him.
Sheri
Im 33yrs old, he is 20yrs old. Like I said when we chat and everything he seems like a cool nice guy and he thinks of me the same thing, that Im nice, cool and most importantly and very attractive to his eyes.
Before he started to mentioned me the kissing part, he was cool and so, when he started to talk about kissing like 3 days ago and I told him he was going too far and rushing into things, he started and behave defensively. He told me things like I dont like the idea because he is just a kid. He asked me the first time we chat like 2 weeks ago that if I had a serious relationship with someone, I mean like a boyfriend, if I mind a guy of his age, he was not talking particularly of his case, but any guy with of 20yrs old. I told him that if I had a serious boyfriend to date in teh future, I did like the guy to be close to my age between 29-33 or 2 or 3 years older. He understood that because he told me, it is obvious for the age,that was when I first meet him on chat. Then days later we continue to chat, about other rhings much less romance or boyfriends, etc. Well he told me a story of his latest relationship with a girl he had in January, that for her he almost commit suicide. This gir he did know her in person, he never met her on any chat or email. He told me he was madly in love with this girl and the girl put her parents first over fighting for their relationship, so according to him, she let her down.
Then he told me he learned his lesson and now he wont do such a stupid thing or even try, because for love is not worth suffering, or that nobody dies of love, and people have to move on.
It was just 3 days ago when he told me on the chat he is starting to like me a lot, he thinks Im nice, cool girl and very pretty and that he will like to give me a kiss, althoug when we first met on chat he told me the same thing, he just wanted to make sure that has not changed and now he wants to meet me. The kiss issue was just 3 days ago. I told him he was going very fast, and he got upset that I did I think that, he meant what he says he told me that he would like to be a little bit more than friends, not boyfriend or girlfriend, or not to date, just be friends very very close friends, like "friends with rights". I insisted he was going to fast, and he still was upset, he told me that first I let him like me, and then I dont want him to kiss me. One thing for me is to like a guy and another thing is he believes he has the right to kiss me after knowing him so quickly. If I like a guy it does not mean he has to kiss me or that I want him to kiss me, all depends of who he is or, or doesnt it? Then he told me that perhaps because of his young age and that I think he is just a child (I never put those words into his mouth, he said it himself but he told me that for him, age is not a problem and he is very mature and a sensitive guy,he works and study and he is not irresponsible, so for his age he thinks I dont want him to be my friend and much less date in the future, because I told him that for a serious relationhsip if I find one in the future either over chat or in person, I really will like a guy close my age or 2 or 3 yrs older.
Then he asked me,if we can be only friends, but if he want to kiss me just once, that please let him do it.
That is where he told me he would like to meet me in person the following week or so.
To be honest to date a guy of 20yrs old and Im almost 34, Im kind of scared. I mean I dont intend of dating this guy I mean we only have meet thru chat 3 weeks ago, not enough time to know a person, but Im just putting an example of the age difference, that is it.
What do you think now?
Cut off contact and block him. This guy is insane.
Almost killed himself over a girl? (and TOLD you about it?) Wants you to be his "friend with rights"? You said yourself, he scares you and you have no intention of dating him. So just cut it off now before it gets any creepier. This guy could end up stalking you or who knows what.
I'd say this is a situation where ghosting is the best thing to do. Just disappear. You don't have to explain anything, or he'll continue trying to convince you or make you feel guilty about it. Just let go, he'll get over it.
>> that for her he almost commit suicide
I stopped reading your message at this sentence.
Why would you ever consider getting connected at any level with someone who admits this to you at such an early stage. Can you even imagine the stuff he hasn't shared with you?
Good luck to you -- I don't have any advice for you except why would you even have to get a second opinon on this?
Ok, with the additional information you've posted, I agree with PM and LG...do NOT meet him and stop talking to him (block him)...this guy is a nut case. Not *only* because of the suicide thing, but this whole "you let me like you" thing...he's NOT an emotionally healthy, well-adjusted person.
Move on.
Sheri
You're joking, right? You actually need input on this?
Okay - Disappear. Quickly.
Run.
I also want to share an experience I had.
This guy and I havent exchanged phone numbers of any kind. He has given me his cell phone number but for his decision, I did not ask him to give it to me. We have only be in contact by chat, not other way, just chat.
About the suicide issue, he was the one who decided to tell me that story on his own. He told me he felt comfortable telling me about it, becuse Im a nice, cool girl.
I mean according to the way he writes on the chat, I dont find him he is wacko or mentally crazy, Im not justifying him, but he does not seem like that. He went through that hard time in his life, but it was just one time.
I still not sure I will like to meet him personally. Perhaps I will only have chat contact with him and nothing more.
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