Should I meet this guy or not? Ideas?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Should I meet this guy or not? Ideas?
12
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:25pm

I have met an online guy thru this friends websites out there. He semmed very comfortable emailing me and then he asked me for my MSN in order to chat simultaneosuly. He seemed like a nice guy as well. So then we exchange email addresses and now we just chat. I have met him like 3 weeks ago. According to what he has told me is that he enjoys very much chatting with me, he thinks Im an attractive, nice, special lady. I dont know if in 3 weeks a person can say that from you. He told me that he will like to meet me to hang out as friends, have coffee, go out, etc. I told him it was too soon he told me that what he said, he meant it. He likes me very much, he is nuts for me. SO I told him it was too soon and he got upset, he told me, he likes me a lot that he will like to kiss me and be very very close friends. He is like infatuated with me, that is what I think. But before he told me his plans, he is a nice guy, he seems that way, only that I think he has come forward way too quick and besides we dont even know personally. He told me that he had a bad experience in January with a girl, more than a friend he met but not on chat but personally, the girl let him down and he was devastated.

He is 12 yrs younger than me and single but he told me he does not mind the age when friendship comes ahd he wants me not to mind that as well.
He told me that he is very mature and know how to treat a lady well.

Now should I meet this guy in the following weeks, or is it too soon? He wants to meet me, but we have only chat with each other for 2 weeks but he wants to meet me and we bedcome friends.

How long should I wait? Any ideas? Or even, should I even met him at all and only stick to chat? He does not want to let down again.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 12:06pm

If he really called you a "cool girl"... then he is not very mature for his age.

Plus he is only 20... he doesn't have a clue as to what he wants in life. He just wants someone easy to be "convenient" with it sounds like. If he is getting all worked up enough over someone that he contemplated suicide at 20 (or younger???) he has a few mental balance issues he needs to work through.

Do you honestly need that kind of drama in your life? Just think if you DO meet and it isn't right for you, he would probably threaten suicide again to keep you I bet. Most guys that are really desperate like that never change.

I know for a FACT there are nice guys out there more in your age range that are dateable... they may not live in the area that you do... I know because I'm one of them. But I'm sure there are plenty more "normal, balanced, sane, non-suicidal" guys for you to connect with in your area. You just have to keep looking.

RUN... RUN AWAY... Don't look back!!

Bryan

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2004
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 5:49pm

>>I still not sure I will like to meet him personally. Perhaps I will only have chat contact with him and nothing more.<<

This is like saying "I know this guy has a horrible, deadly disease, but he's not a bad guy so I'll go lick his face anyway."

You come in here, you tell us about this guy and all these red flags that you see, all these things that worry you about him... you ask our advice... and it's unanimously "STAY AWAY" from him. And then you say "well, okay, I'm still not sure about meeting him in person but I'll keep communicating with him"?

Whatever. But if you're going to so completely blow off everyone's advice, don't waste our time asking for it in the future.

Just to review, here's the LONG list of things that YOU have already said bother you about him or are wrong about him:

"I dont know if in 3 weeks a person can say that from you."
"I told him it was too soon he told me that"
"he is nuts for me."
"I told him it was too soon and he got upset"
"He is like infatuated with me, that is what I think."
"I think he has come forward way too quick and besides we dont even know personally."
"He told me that he is very mature and know how to treat a lady well."
"he started and behave defensively."
"I did like the guy to be close to my age between 29-33 or 2 or 3 years older."
"for her he almost commit suicide."
"He told me he was madly in love with this girl"

I think you should just do whatever the heck you want, even though the odds are it'll be something dumb, like continuing to talk with a guy who's too young, who's unstable, and who doesn't want a relationship but does want to get laid.

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