Should I say something ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Should I say something ?
7
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 10:43am
On another subject (other than the real life guy coming tonight):
I have a question concerning the 'just over transitional girlfriend-guy' that I've been out with three times. He rarely emails me and I find that I initiate them most often. But he always writes back and mentions getting together again.. I saw him at the YMCA last night and he seemed out of sorts and was headed to his yoga class. He introduced me to his teacher but we really didn't talk. I'm thinking I might email him and say if he wants to see me he can initiate the emails. Oh, and he gave me his IM id the last time we were out and said we could chat online but everytime I'm online and see him online he doesn't initiate chat. And I don't either. I feel like I'm swimming upstream and getting nowhere with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 10:49am

I would advise you, donna, to cease all contact with this man. As someone on the outside looking in, I see he is allowing you to do all the work. Not good.

Write him off and move on.

amjay

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 10:51am

Nope, I'd let this one go. If he were truly interested, he'd be asking you out.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 10:57am

Hi Donna,

I agree completely with Amjay. The guy is letting you do all the work and then he is feeling somewhat better in the process - after your great counseling sessions with him! ;) I think most of us desire a guy who is more available, both emotionally and physically. When you are ready for this available guy, he will come along....

Sunshine

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 11:18am

I'm with everyone here too. Just let him go - if he were really interested, he would initiate emails or phone calls or ask you out. He's got a lot of baggage anyway! Who knows what kind of stuff he is caught up in!

I'm in a similar situation with a guy that I haven't even met yet. He pursued me pretty enthusiastically from eH but as soon as I gave him my email address, he kinda drifted off. I emailed him again after he had given me his email (after one follow up email from me) and he gave me his # saying he was ready to move to the phone. He didn't ask for my # and he hasn't followed up with me by email either. I have nexted him!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 12:03pm
You don't have to tell him he needs to be the one to initiate the e-mails from now on.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 12:12pm

Just in case I misspelled my previous words, don't contact him anymore. Move on. His story is getting boring, anyway. We need a new one! I can hardly wait to hear what happens when oldie-but-a-goodie friend comes to town!! Yeehaw!!

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-24-2005 - 12:19pm
okay okay...no you didn't misspell any words!!!
I'll update tomorrow with real-life guy tonight. he's not getting here until 7p though. I wish it was earlier.