Should men be the proactive one?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Should men be the proactive one?
5
Fri, 06-17-2005 - 6:15pm

Hi All,

This is a great site for those unfamiliar to OLD.

I started OLD about 3 weeks ago. So far I have received several interests from about 10 guys. Those who send me winks, I just ignore. Whereas those who send me actual emails and seem interesting, I begin exchanging emails. I'm interested in two so far, but have a stronger preference for one.

Guy #1
This is the guy I would be more keen to meet because we have interesting email exchanges. We've emailed for just over 2 weeks and I'm tired of just emailing. Initially we would exchange emails daily. For the last week, I've taken more time to repond...about 2 days and write shorter 2 paragraph emails. He always responds back the same day I write to him. Since this is OLD, I haven't told him my real name as it's very unique and can be easily tracked down. He asked me for my real name in his 2nd email to me. I would like to meet him (i.e. for coffee), but I don't want to take the initiative to ask him.

Guy #2
Because I am more interested in Guy #1, I've put Guy #2 on the back burner and have been slow in responding to #2 since he first emailed me. Well after not hearing from me for 4 days, he asked me out for coffee. I waited one day to respond back and thanked him for his invitation and that I would like to meet him and kept my email very short. Since I do not have a photo of him I asked him for it again...this is the 2nd time. I haven't sent him my photo or told him my name yet. A couple days later (which is today) he replied with a longer email but ended it with the following:

"As for meeting up, whenever you feel comfortable, let me know. I don't
bite. ;) and we can see if we get along."

and

"Lastly for exchaning pictures, can you wait a bit. My computer at home has
had 'issues' and it has decided that it's tired and doesn't want to work
anymore. So I have to use my work computer in the meantime until I can
figure out how to get it back up and running again."

I'm going to hit the 'Next' button on Guy #2 since he won't provide a photo and can't take the initiative to name a day/time to meet. I'm not sure what to do with Guy #1 though my head tells me to also hit the 'Next' button. I would really like to have your thoughts on both guys.

Thanks in advance!
HC

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sat, 06-18-2005 - 1:02am

Hi, hallmark, welcome to the board.

I've always believed in ANYONE being proactive, male or female, if they want something.

Guy #1: there are just some guys that need a little prodding to get to a meet. I would tell him that while the emails are enjoyable, the purpose of you being online is to MEET someone and ask him if he's interested. A coffee date is a good, safe start.

Guy #2: liar, liar, pants on fire. No Photo? Got Excuses? NEXT! hallmark, DO NOT waste the pretty on this one.

Last bit of advice: find Guys #3 through whatever. It tends to take some time before meeting a good match.

Good luck!!

amjay

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 12:09pm

Hello Hallmark-


Welcome to the board.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 1:04pm
Hey Jodie - I tried the link to the website. It doesn't work - it takes you to the tripod homepage and says the page you are trying to reach doesn't exist. :-)

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 1:43pm
Hi there. As Jodie said... OLD sort of drops traditional male/female roles; there's nothing wrong with surfing the site and sending intro emails to guys who pique your interest. But be forwarned... rejection happens to all of us and you can't let it get to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Mon, 06-20-2005 - 2:28pm

Hey Vex...How are you?


I tried it and you were right.

CL-Truewild1969

For further information regarding OLD including FAQ please visit our OLD Website at;