Should there be fireworks?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Should there be fireworks?
11
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 8:37am

I am still dating R and know he likes me, that is not a problem at this point. I like him too, but shouldn't there be fireworks? I get a little nervous at first when I am around him, but I'm not off doodling his name or fantasizing about him (or anyone).

With my college boyfriend, it started out the same...We were friends first and hung out for a few months until I arrived to the conclusion that I likes him. Once we were dating and I got to know him better, there were fireworks (PS that was ages ago, definitely not pining, just kind of comparing).

I don't feel turned off, and I look forward to seeing him on the weekends, as I am just way too busy during the week. I'm just not getting that excited feeling that everyone else is. Is that a bad sign or do you think it has to do with the fact that I'm taking it so slow? He definitely calls, but I am ususally tied up when he does (not on purpose). I feel like there shouls be a stronger connection, that of which I may be to blame for.

PS I haven't slept with him. I'm waiting until my feelings are strong enough...

Gal Blondie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 9:54am

I think it probably has something to do with the fact that you guys are taking it slow, which is probably a good thing. I am used to falling madly in love at first sight and not being able to see the person enough, etc. I think you should continue to get to know him and take it at its own pace and accept your feelings for what they are right now and don't expect more.

Are you dating anyone else right now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 10:08am

Hey!
I agree with the other poster...it's probably because you're taking things slowly. It's great that you two are clicking well; however, it's also great that you have a full life outside of getting to know him. I truly believe that the worst thing we can do is be so consumed with someone we're seeing, that we don't allow ourselves to really get to know the person. I've also learned that it's not good to put all your eggs in one basket. You may be really feeling one particular person; however, infatuation with one person is not a reason to stop seeing others...

So, the fact that you two see each other only on weekends and the fact that you don't answer every call when he calls may contribute to your lack of 'fireworks'. I don't think that you need to have 'fireworks' to be into someone. Sometimes, it takes time, getting to know the person, to truly know if you have real chemistry!!

Good luck and keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 10:13am

Thank you for your response!

I am not seeing anyone else b/c I just don't have the time, which is why I am doing OLD. I work 12-13 hour days and live 30 min away from work, so it cuts out a lot of free time. I think it works for him too, as he has his son during the week.

I guess it takes a while for me to be completely won over, though I am definitely a romantic!

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 10:16am

Thanks for your response. I am not dating anyone else b/c I don't have the time! I am so crazy busy it's unreal. I also am picky and pretty much won't give anyone the time of day unless they have passed the phone and attraction tests. Not many have....

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 10:39am

It sounds like you're growing up.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 10:42am
Thank you so much for your response. It made me feel a lot better : ) I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, ha ha.

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 1:33pm
I don't necessarily think that no fireworks is a bad thing as long as you are looking forward to seeing him and you are not turned off by him and see him as more than a friend. Sometimes these things take longer to develop as you get to know the person for who they are and their qualities become more endearing to you. It might be because you are holding your feelings back because you want to be realistic about this and that's just perfectly fine, because when you do that you are able to get to know the person for who they are. I say for sure give it somemore time and see what develops out of this.
Sometimes way too many fireworks cause problems too because you get "lust blindness".
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 1:35pm
Also, how did your relationship with your BF progress?

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 8:06pm

We’re doing very well – thanks for asking.

Avatar Image"The Small Peanu
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 11:27pm
I think you are doing fine!

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