Should we meet?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Should we meet?!
4
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 6:24pm

Hello,

This is my first post to this message board, so let me introduce myself. My name is Aracely and I am 25 yrs old and I just signed on to match.com. I have never tried online dating ever. I am having a good time for the past few days with a couple guys that are local, just with emails. However, I just got an email from this local guy, that I am not 100% interested in, not because of profile I actually like his profile, but because his height is 5'5". It's a little too short for me. He is good looking, but short.I know this sounds shallow. Anyways, he winked at me and I winked back just to see where it went, and his following email was;

"Do you want to meet? If you do, you can write me to.....Or if you want, we can exchange phone numbers"

Now, tell me if I'm wrong, but for our first email conversation, wasn't that too soon? Or am I just making excuses because of his height?

Honestly, I don't want to meet him, yet. I'm not sure if even a phone conversation would be also too soon. Maybe I can do the phone, but not person. My question is, how can I tell him I don't want to meet him, but would like to continue exchanging emails or phone calls without sounding uninterested.

Or are these feeling just for a rookie at online dating?

Thanks,

Aracely

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 7:04pm

Hi, there! Cool name... welcome to the board!

Well, that one IS tough. This guy could be sensational, but we all are guilty of blowing past someone because of their physical looks or stats. It's human nature that physical chemistry and attraction are what makes us fall for one another. I think that if you decided to meet him now, you would only be seeing his height and not the great qualities that this guy might posess. If you truly know in your heart that you could never date this guy simply because of his height, then just move on. It wouldn't be fair to him to keep talking to him when there is no hope for a match. Send him a polite e-mail that says something along the lines of, "Thanks, but I'm brand new to this and plan on taking it very slowly. At this point I'm just in the browsing stage." But, if you think that you would like to know more about this person, then get to know him. Just tell him that you'd love to chat with him via e-mail or instant message, but that you've set rules ahead of time that you're not going to call or meet anyone right away. And then have some conversations back and forth to get to know him. You might find that you two have a ton in common, and at some point you might really want to meet him. Or you could discover that there is something else besides his height that turns you off. Whatever you do, don't tell him that you're staying away because of his height -- it would do nothing more than hurt his feelings. At least this guy was honest about it, which in my book gives him some points right away. Most guys tend to lie.

Good luck! Keep us updated on this one...

Tobi

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 7:10pm

If you don't want to meet, why would you continue to email him? What's the point?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Thu, 10-06-2005 - 9:22pm

Hi Aracely and welcome!


I hope you'll find a happy "home" here... So tell us... why is 5'5" too short for you? How tall are you? Sounds like you like this guy, so is this the only thing that's stopping you?


And again... welcome to the board!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2005
Fri, 10-07-2005 - 11:16am

Well, thanks everyone who posted. It helped to make a decision.

I did email him back and told him that we talk on the phone last night. He caleed and we talked for two hours and I'm glad we did. It turns out that it's more than the height that would be a problem. He doesn't have a steady job and his points of views in politics are completely different. We come from two different backgrounds so we have very different views of life.

Not that height is totally important, but it did worry me. I am glad I didn't just blow him off though.

I'll update you guys if I meet anyone else.

Aracely