shouldn't have asked him

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
shouldn't have asked him
22
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 7:11pm
I asked a guy by email if he wanted to go out this weekend on my birthday. We'd met in person from an online dating site already. He got back to me saying that he'll email me if he's free on the weekend and that he'll at least wish me a happy birthday. Then stupidly, I emailed him back saying that he seems like the type that makes plans at the last minute and how I do that sometimes too. I ended it saying that maybe I'll see him later with a question mark. Now when I think about it, he didn't really want to see me, that was just his way of being nice about it, which I don't like. He should've said he already had plans or something like that. Now I feel like an idiot sending him that last email. He'll be laughing at me now:-(

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 7:16pm

So? You barely know the guy. Who cares if he is "laughing" at you? I'm sure he's not (maybe just rolling his eyes ;-)), but even if he is, what's the big deal? You need to learn to let this stuff roll off your back...you'll drive yourself crazy otherwise.

You can't control what other people do or "should" do. All you can control are YOUR actions and YOUR reactions to their actions.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 7:21pm
But I wish I didn't send the stupid second email. It makes me look really stupid. Of course I wasn't thinking that when I sent it but looking back on it, it does. I know I don't know the guy well but I want to get to know him. After this, I can probably forget it though.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 7:37pm

If he's into you, he won't care that you sent that email, and if he's not, it won't matter, because he's already not into you. So don't sweat it!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 09-12-2005 - 9:01pm

Just take it as a learning experience.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 3:17pm

I am sure he has not put anymore thought into it.

CL-Truewild1969

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 5:47pm
Yeah well, I noticed now when I log onto IM and he's there, it doesn't take long before he goes off. I emailed him and just asked if he's trying to tell me something or what by going offline when I go online. I just want him to be straight up with me and take me off of his contact list if he's not interested in me.


Edited 9/13/2005 5:48 pm ET ET by kathy748
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2005
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 6:20pm
You are being a psycho girl! If he is into you then let him come after you, you will know it if he wants to date you. If not then what do you care if he has you on his contact list!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 6:35pm

I was just about to say something similar, gretchen! Kathy, stop overanalyzing everything! And stop with the emails and the insecurities! The more you keep emailing him these little messages about "oh, I guess you just don't like me", the less he is going to like you! Guys don't like clingy girls or ones that freak out like this when they hardly know you.

You have no idea why he is logging out of messenger when you sign on. Sure, maybe it is to avoid you but maybe he just is. He sure is going to do so now because I bet he doesn't want to deal with the drama.

Take all this as a learning experience and just try to go with the flow a lot more. You need a very thick skin and a lot of patience to do OLD. A lot of times you will not get the answers you want or the guy you want. But if you are relaxed about it, it won't bother you so much. Besides, what do you care if he "likes" you or not? He is a guy you met once. Don't worry so much about what he thinks (or anyone else for that matter) and you'll be much happier!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 6:49pm

Thanks for making me realize this. I'm really too inexperienced with the whole dating thing. I have to stop all of this now. I emailed him again to apologize. I know, stop emailing, but I wanted to say I was sorry.I'm not really into him either. He's just there so that's why I've been contacting him and asked him out. He's not the type of guy I'd go for. So that's that anyway.

Edited 9/13/2005 7:37 pm ET ET by kathy748




Edited 9/13/2005 7:37 pm ET ET by kathy748
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Tue, 09-13-2005 - 7:42pm

Kathy, I agree with everything Vex said and would also add, remove him from your IM list. That way you won't know if he's online...outta sight, outta mind. It will make it much easier for you to move on and you won't worry about whether he's logging off because you are there, because you won't see him log off. JMHO

Libra

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