Signals you give after the meet
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Signals you give after the meet
| Tue, 04-12-2005 - 5:46am |
Hot on the heels of the "Perfect Match" question -- I'm curious:
After the first meet is over -- and assuming that it was just that - A 1 or 2 hr meet - and not a makeout or more session, what are the signals you would give to the guy that you are interested.
-Do you send an email?
-Do you call?
-Do you wait for him to email and only then respond?
-Do you tell him at the end of the meet that you want to see him again?
-Or do you just make him guess?

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It totally and instantly diminishes "your value" in their eyes. When I started old 4 month ago - I was very entused and didn't have many "hang-ups" but I have learned the ropes of old dating and a "girl calling" is definitely not a good thing. I feel that even e-mailing is pushing it. Every time that guy is interested I get e-mail right when I get home from a date. On 2 occasions that I actually e-mailed first - they responded and we had a second date and both times they were expecting to move on to the 3rd base. So now I don't call and don't e-mail first. It's all silly game playing but we must play by the rules :)
"But then I was told (by women in general) that this is just "too desperate" and that I just need to wait before I contact them back."
Who said that?
I fully enjoy a woman doing the asking for a date... it is a breath of fresh air.
I don't chase, chasing only makes me tired of chasing.
I will chase a little, but any more than just a little bit, turns into a big flashing neon red sign of "game playing"... Another reason I generally don't get along with women that swear by playing "the Rules" all the time.
If someone is genuinely interested in me then it should be more of a 50/50 split I think. Love and relationships are not supposed to be this hard... why do some people always insist on making them so?
Bryan
Hi Bryan,
That's great that you like the woman to ask for the date, but I am just saying my experience and that of my girlfriends has shown that even though guys say they LIKE the women to ask the guys for dates and to call the guys, when that has been done, the guys lose interest usually. So you may be an exception, but imho, I say, in general, that most guys still prefer to be the pursuer. I am not saying I play hard to get, but I still let the guy make most of the first moves. No I don't live my life by "The Rules".
Once the relationship has begun and is moving along I do things differently.
Sunshine
i bought that rules book.
i passed it around to most of the guys i know,
most were married, and some were not.
every one agreed with me: if you follow that book
at best you get a player with 50 women lined up, who
doesn't give a hoot if you call back.
All also said, if she didn't call me back, i'd throw her
number away and move on.
Now, I think I have a date on Thurs. I have not had a date in
a while. The last one, i did say, hey, i'm going to X on saturday,
would you like to go? She said, i'll call you. which meant,
no thanks.
So, my question is, if Thurs goes decent, should i ask if she wants
to do something again, or, send some kinda email ?
Not to jinx myself, but i already think we are not going out twice:
she's very, very cute, richer than me, most likely has a car better than
me, has a master's degree, etc.
So I don't see going out twice anyway, but, if she's not psycho, i'd still
like to invite her. Thanks.
Bryan, they have a point.
One of the best girlfriends I ever had, I waited about
5 or 6 weeks to ask her out. I met her out with friends,
she worked with them.
So, finally I called.
She says
WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK ME OUT!!!!!!
I had a 1/2 good reason: She had graduated already, actually a couple
of years (I went to the army it delayed graduation a while).
I told her, I was waiting to make sure I passed all my classes, so when
the subject came up, I could say, I have 3 classes this spring, 2 in the
fall, and I am finished. I wanted to be at that point before asking anybody
out.
I went more places, did more things, including going to europe for a month,
she was gorgeous, a braniac, made fistfulls of cash.....
BUT DIDNT WANNA GET MARRIED LOL to anyone, and she's still single
10 years later. :(
So in short, you better be thinking you are the one that needs to ask them out :)
<she's very, very cute, richer than me, most likely has a car better than me, has a master's degree, etc. So I don't see going out twice anyway, but, if she's not psycho, i'd still like to invite her.>>
Whatever you do, condorski, DO NOT tell her the above! Ever. Even if you got married. Trust me, I'm a girl.
Never mind that you think she's better than you. Walk the walk, dude. Attitude is everything in the dating world.
amjay
I'll tell you what i hate but understand it.
Girl sends you a wink. She's the most interesting girl
you've had any contact with in a long time.
You email back.
But, she doesn't get your email because she doesn't wanna
pay on the site.....
That is SOOOO frustrating.
If the woman was
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