So I walked the dog past his house...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
So I walked the dog past his house...
6
Thu, 09-23-2010 - 2:33pm

You aren't going to believe this one:

3 years ago I bought a new house. A friend told me that one of my neighbors was a divorced lawyer whose daughter I had met at school. I mentioned on this board that I was walking my dog past his house hoping to meet him, and someone, I think it was HJNTIY teased me about being too passive.

Fast foward...I met him on Match. Wasn't sure it was the same guy at first, but he was going on and on about his daughter. It seemed really awkward but for our first meet I just had him pick me up at the house, I didn't want to pretend I didn't know where he lived! And I told him how I knew who he was. He didn't think it was awkward at all...we actually have many mutual acquaintances. And just as well we didn't meet sooner because he hasn't dated much...his divorce took him by surprise and he just wasn't ready.

Anyway, we went hiking last saturday and I really like him. BUT for our second outing he invited me to a HS varsity volleyball game! His daughter doesn't even play but some of her friends do and he knows others because he still coaches girls travel soccer. I think he is either too wrapped up in his identity as 'friendly neighborhood dad' or he is just trying to present that side of himself because he thinks I'm looking for a step dad for my girls. Third possibility is he's just creepy, but he didn't come across as creepy. I think he is just realizing that his DD is going to graduate next year and leave him all alone.

So I said no thanks on the volleyball--all I DO is go to events with my own girls---and asked if he wouldn't rather do something more grown up? Still haven't heard back...now i have to come up with some fun date ideas so he won't think I was hinting about sex. Although he is nice and intelligent, good conversationalist, I can't say there was a big physical attraction. So I am proceeding with this in a rather traditional manner.

And the best part of it is, I am also corresponding with another very real possibility (a nurse/chiropractor!) so if this all falls apart I have a back up plan.

sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2010
Sat, 09-25-2010 - 2:07pm

Go with your gut instinct...if you find it creepy then he isn't the one for you.

Back up plan is always good!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sat, 09-25-2010 - 7:58pm

Well, it is saturday night and I'm not on a date with either of them. Superdad emailed back and said he was not sure what grownups did when kids weren't around so I took the high road and suggested that we do the same things we do with our families...just with more adult conversation. I didn't make any lewd suggestions! He has his daughter for the weekend and it seems that he is always going to put her first (okay with me!) REally, nothing creepy, I think he is just out of touch with his adult self except when he is at work.

NurseMan didn't call...wonder if he is chickening out....

So I took my dd10 to the movies and had a little time on my own in the hammock. Now I'm having movie night with my dd13, so it is time well spent!

sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2008
Sat, 09-25-2010 - 11:33pm

Always nice to have a backup guy, even if he doesn't call when you hope he will! I'm home on Sat. night too, thought I had a date for tonight but had to take a 'rain check' so we'll see (he had a semi-legitimate excuse).

And if it doesn't pan out with that guy, I have my own backup - someone interesting just emailed me Thursday - asked if I wanted to go to a bonfire on Saturday! I declined - not going to show up with someone I don't know at one of their friend's events! Told him I'd rather meet one on one first. He wrote back and said he'd be interested in meeting for coffee or something. So we'll see there, too.

Never know what's going to happen with this online dating stuff, but one things for sure, it's never what you think it will be :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Fri, 10-29-2010 - 4:17pm
OMG...his official handle is now Mr. Wishy Washy. He called me at 5pm on a Saturday pm and invited me to a movie. I already had plans. I invited him out for a drink on a tuesday evening...he had to pick his daughter up at dance. I told him about a Volleyball spaghetti dinner fundraiser thinking he would like to go with his daughter. He said he wasn't coming, but he showed up. We figured that was a sign he was interested in his wishy washy way. Then I invited him to a concert. He seemed pleased to be asked, but called back and said he was busy with his daughter that night, then added something along the lines of He wasn't sure about this dating stuff. He was concerned that I would miss the concert I really wanted to see and I assured him I wolud go anyway.

At that point I wrote him off as not interested in me OR not interested in dating in general, so I let it go, figured I wouldn't hear from him again.

Then yesterday AM I got an email asking how the concert was! So I emailed back and said it was great, etc, and hinted that I'm not busy this weekend. But I'm not contacting him again! He needs to man up!
sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sun, 10-31-2010 - 9:59am

OMG again...I DID contact him again, what is wrong with me?

sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Tue, 11-02-2010 - 10:56am

LOL I am thoroughly enjoying reading your updates -- and I tend to agree with you.

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