some men have such chutzpah

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
some men have such chutzpah
13
Sat, 07-26-2003 - 11:18pm
About 2 months ago I was contacted by a guy (through a dating site) who lives over the border about 600 miles from where I live.

We had one online chat and he told me that he has a website in case I want to check it out. After we logged off I had a look at the website and noticed that it consisted of several pages photos, interests, stories etc.

The next day I noticed that he changed the photo in his profile. I saw that he was online so I decided to chat with him. I started by saying hi, that I liked the new photo and asked if the little girl with him in the picture is his niece. This guy responded by chewing me out over what I had writtten. He said that if I had looked at his website like he "told" me to do I would have seen the photos he had posted and that I would have known that the girl is his niece. He then asked if looks are all that matter to me.

I responded by asking pretty much WTF he was ranting about. (But I was nice about it - I don't swear at people). I asked how he could take such offence to a simple question and come up with some convoluted theory about me as a result.

He said that it seems that the new photo is what prompted me to start chatting with him and not the fact that I want to get to know him. He then said, "I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from."

I said that I actually don't understand. And that was the end of that conversation and we haven't had any contact since. Until today.....

Today I got 3 emails from him. The first one said that he'll be in my town within the next few days and maybe we can meet for coffee. The second one said that he definitely thinks we should get together and told me which days he'd be here. The third one said to call him to let him know when we can get together.

I definitely do not want to meet this guy. He sounds like he's a little unstable. I haven't responded to him and I don't know if I should or just ignore him.

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Avatar for born2luv
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 12:29am
I would ignore him...

~*~ Catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 10:08am
As you have only been in contact with him twice and that's two month ago I would simply ignore him. That's the way guys treat us and normally I don't like to act like guys do but in this case, he seems to be a very demanding one and the fact that he has send you 3 emails about the same topic without even waiting for an answer how you feel about a meeting just disqualifies him in my opinion.

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 11:32am
Don't meet him. He has major "issues". He sounds like he is either really bitter against women (he's been dating too long and has had more than his share of rejection), or possibly he has a rage control problem. You are right - he is unstable. I've done online dating before; and I guarantee, there is NO WAY I would meet this man anywhere. No way on earth.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 12:10pm
Update.

I received 3 more emails from him today - haven't read them yet.

I never had any intention of meeting him. I've done a lot of online dating and I'm very careful when it comes to deciding whether or not it's safe to meet in person. The red flag went up 2 months ago.

I think I need to block him from the dating site and my email.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 12:12pm
Not only would I not respond to his emails, I'd block him from sending me any additional ones. Use technology in your favor ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 12:49pm
I decided not to reply to his emails and I blocked him on the dating site so he can no longer contact me.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 6:13pm
Very good idea! Hope you will never hear from him again.

I guess as you have just chatted twice he does not have any personal information about you like phone number or home address?

Some men out there are really weirdos!

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 6:23pm
He knows only my first name and an anonymous email address that I use for online dating.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-27-2003 - 11:47pm
Many red flags and to meet him could be more than unpleasant - it could be physically dangerous. I'm not kidding.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Mon, 07-28-2003 - 7:32am
Hi Deena.

Yes, I noticed the red flags the second time we chatted online. I never had any intention of meeting this guy - ever.

My question was whether to bother responding to his emails or just ignore him.

But I already made my decision. I ignored the emails and blocked him from being able to contact me.

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