Some people not cut out for OLD?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Some people not cut out for OLD?
13
Fri, 02-16-2007 - 7:42pm

I've been single for about a year now and really haven't been interested in dating again until now. I'm definatly open to the idea of meeting someone I can connect with. I've attempted online dating in the past but only went on one date and that seemed to be more stress than it was worth. The thought of online dating now SEEMS like a good idea and browsing sites like Match peak my interest a bit. I don't like going out with someone I don't know though...I'm quite social but it causes me so much anxiety. I consider myself pretty attractive with a good personality so it's not like I'm insecure or shy...

I'm just wondering if OLD isn't the way to go for certain people?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2003
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 6:13pm

Your post was very comforting to me. I always felt there was something wrong with me. I have a friend who is VERY thick-skinned who usually makes me feel bad about they way I feel about OLD and dating in general. I will keep trying though because real life offers so few options at my age.

I too have a really hard time relating to this two-dimensional way of trying to develop interest in someone. Pictures rarely do it for me and I realize that pictures can be deceiving. I have a friend who has a picture that doesn't look anything like her and I feel it is deceptive. No wonder guys complain about who they end up meeting.

I really think it is healthy to take breaks every once in awhile or I would end up cynical, depressed or both.

Good luck to you all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 9:43pm

I am new to this website. I am so happy I found it, after reading all of your messages it makes me feel better that I am not alone. I have the same feelings that most of you have about OLD, I've been on and off for the past year. Like most of you once in a while I'll come across someone who I feel is special or perhaps different from all the rest. Well, I always get disappointed after they "Ghost" on me. I did fall for one guy who was very nice and seemed honest. After we had been dating for about a month he told me the truth about his age. He actually turned out to be 20 yrs. older than me, he had 4 kids not only 2 as he had listed in his profile and his son lived with him, he had written in his profile that he lived alone. Well, he started out with 3 big lies--needless to say we didn't make it. How can I trust someone who starts out with so many lies--maybe someone else could but I cannot do it.

I'm off OLD for now but I know that I'll be on again eventually. There is just nowhere else to meet anyone, unless by chance. But then again it is by chance that we might meet Mr. Right on OLD. You never know. I try to remain hopeful.

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sat, 02-24-2007 - 4:45am

"I recently met a guy that seemed really into me on the first date complementing me and telling me that he definitely wanted to go out again and then he disappeared on me. This sort of thing happens alot with online dating. It is hard to not take it personally and be hurt by it."
__________

I think you have this about 50% right. When a guy does this to you, it IS personal- he's not into you enough to bother asking you out again. It's YOU he doesn't want.

But you shouldn't be HURT by it. Look at it logically- is every guy that meets you going to want to marry you? Most women I meet don't seem to be interested in marrying me (I know, that's a big shock to many here). Why would I assume that they all will?

The key is to understand that sure, it's personal- you and the guy are just not a good fit for whatever reason. You're too short, too tall, too skinny, too fat, you laugh weird, you don't laugh enough, you talk too loud, you talk too quiet, whatever.

But it doesn't MATTER. We know that not everyone is going to dig us- why should it hurt our feelings? So what if some dink you met once or twice doesn't like you? What does HE know? He's obviously stupid. Move on!

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