Someday??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Someday??
2
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 5:59pm

Ok so I have been "talking" with a guy that I met online for about a month. When I say "Talking" I mean instant messaging. We have exchanged a couple of e-mails but they aren't anything to brag about. Our conversations via messenging usually last close to 2 hours. My question is that everytime I mention meeting, the response I get is "someday we will meet." SOMEDAY?? What the hell is that supposed to mean? He seems interested, says he's interested..but I also don't want to be naive here...

There are days that go by that I purposely don't respond to him, to see if he would keep writing and he did. During one conversation, he had asked me a quesiton ..my response to him was well it doesn't really matter what I say because we will never meet in person as that someday won't come. His response was "does that mean your giving up" mean giving up on him...I asked him if he wanted me too and he said no that he enjoyed talking to me and wants to see where this goes. Ok..so here's the question...what the heck do I do?? I have been in the situation, where I've emailed someone for month and maybe even longer..and thought he was great..and was Extremely anxious to meet him and when we met there was absolutely no chemistry, wanting to know more on my end. So really felt like I wasted my time on this guy. I don't want this to happen again..this guy truly seems nice on instant messaging..but again...have never spoken to him on the phone (there hasn't even been a mention of calling me) or met him.

So I'm thinking of sending him an e-mail....but what do I say?? HELP!! I don't want to be rude..but at the same time...I want this to move forward either ending it or meeting......ADVICE IS NEEDED!! PLEASE!!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: crvgrl
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 7:38pm

I would write something like, I've enjoyed our conversations, but I'm online to find people to actually date, not to find a pen pal. If and when you are interested in meeting in person, please call me at (phone number). Otherwise, take care.

And then block him from IM'ing you.

If I had to guess, I'd say he's married or involved.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
In reply to: crvgrl
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 9:45am

I agree with Sheri. You are probably wasting your time, this guy is a serial IM'er that is getting something from you via IM that he isn't getting from his wife or SO. If he doesn't call you, or if he does, but still won't meet, NEXT him.

<< I have been in the situation, where I've emailed someone for month and maybe even longer..and thought he was great..and was Extremely anxious to meet him and when we met there was absolutely no chemistry, wanting to know more on my end. So really felt like I wasted my time on this guy. >>

Based on your comment, you have been down that path before and experienced the results. Communication longer than a few emails and phone calls can build FALSE expectations and the actual face-to-face meet can be a real disappointment. I traveled that path a few times and will not go there again!

Best Wishes and follow your gut feelings....my intuition always is always my best friend!