someone help me figure this guy out

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
someone help me figure this guy out
15
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 10:00am

Okay bachelor #1 canceled our date #4 last Saturday b/c he couldn't get a babysitter. Not a problem, except he waited until 6 pm to cancel. Now he has asked me out for lunch today... I have received a few emails from him the last two days and they are very friendly and normal sounding, but I have not had any confirmation about lunch today at it is 9:50am... granted I know he can still call me, but I am getting really irritated and I need to set this guy straight. Everything was going very well these last few weeks and now all of a sudden he is acting like .... I don't even know.

Am I being unreasonable. And I need some advise, IF we have lunch today I really want to take the opportunity and set this guy straightm, but I don't want to come across harsh or b!tchy.... How does this sound?

"D- , I need to share something with you. I am usually straight forward and don't like to beat around the bush, but something is bothering me and I don't want to come across high maintenance or pushy, but I like you, I am attracted to you, you have a lot of qualities that I am looking for in a man, but I'm concerned about how little we communicate about planned meetings. Whether you are aware of it or not, I have been left hanging on more than one occasion and I don't know what to make of that. Do you think we can communicate a little bit better about these planned meetings?"

I don't know, help!!!

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 12:09pm

Why indeed!!! That's one of those "Why ask why" questions that we will never know the answer to!!! But most of us have had the exact same experience, so obviously it's something SOME guys do, for whatever reason.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 1:52pm

Even though he asked you to call, I'd sit tight for a bit to see whether he gives you a call.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 2:19pm

I agree with what you say about if he doesn't value my time what does that say about him?

I am just trying to take it slow and easy and not jump to too many conclusions or brush him off "just like that"... I wasn't sure if I should call him or not. I may do a courtesy phone call later this evening to check on him, and if he suggest getting together again I will try to have more concrete place and time settings...

The few dates that we have had, he has come across so polite and genuine. And we have so much in common, and I feel there is a spark there... but we will see. I don't like games and I don't like players....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 4:02pm
This guy doesn't live in S. CA does he? The guy I dated briefly was a single dad too and a friend said part of the reason is single dads or moms have such little free time that when it comes to their OWN time they tend to be selfish because they don't get a lot of it and have a hard time to committing to anything outside of them and their needs. That is a total generalization but maybe your guy and the man I gave the boot too fell into this category.
 
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 4:16pm
Last week was an exception. He sees his children every Tues and Thursday and then every other weekend.
No- I'm in VA

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