Something driving me nuts

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Something driving me nuts
22
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 8:34am

Ok, just for the record, I'm a white woman. Now, I have a LOT of friends of different races, & I don't think of myself as racist. However, I admit that I have only been attracted to white men. Just like some people like cowboys, thin girls or asian women...I just don't find men of other races physically attractive.

So, when I put my preference on these sites as "Caucasian" why on earth am I getting so many Black & Arab men writing to me? Do they not read?

I admit that I was once guilty of not noticing that a guy who caught my eye had "blonde only" as his preference. I caught it after I wrote to him. I really found it interested that some men still won't date a non-blonde or non-redhead or whatever since hair color is so changeable anyway. But, at least I don't go writing to guys who I notice only look for the slim/slender chicks since I am not, nor will I ever be, a waif.

So, why are these guys so obviously not reading?

UGH....just a rant!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 9:06am
Happens ALL the time. I don't get it either. Bums me out because I get all excited I have mail and then.....he's not even close to what I'm looking for. Total letdown.
Avatar for phoenixmama
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 10:00am
Same reason guys outside of your listed age range will try, or outside your preferred distance, or religion/politics other than your preference. Yes, some just don't read or are writing/winking to everyone. Others just wonder if your preferences may be flexible and it's worth a shot. Surely everyone has some criteria that are 'preferred' but negotiable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 10:12am

I've been on both sides of this fence... I've had guys email me who don't meet any of my criteria and I figure they're just looking at the picture and not reading the profile, something I'm guilty of as well at times. I've also winked at someone whose criteria I didn't meet just to see if there was a shot. And at times, there were.


I tend to think that they are probably going by the motto 'nothing gained, nothing lost.' So what harm is there in casting your line in the water?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 11:23am

I think they do it just to see if they can wear you down and you'd possibly want to go out with them.

My profile says I am looking for a white or Latin guy who is Christian. I had one guy IM me last week who turned out to be black and Muslim. Fine, but when I told him (NICELY) that he wasn't what I was looking for and that I wished him luck, he proceeded to call me racist and narrowminded, and some other names that aren't allowed here. :-) Funniest part was, when I looked at HIS profile, I didn't even meet his requirements.


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 11:43am

What a surprise...men not reading profiles!!! I'm shocked, just shocked!!!

That's what the "delete" key is for.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 11:50am

Same with the distance thing.....and age gap.

It is disappointing. So many emails/winks go right out the window.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 1:13pm

I read guy's profiles and I will still wink at someone that says he is looking for a woman 5'2" or taller even though I'm only 5'0".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 5:13pm

People will always try their luck. These preferences are not always cast in stone.

You are advertising your availability on the www.

What do you expect?




Edited 1/9/2006 12:28 pm ET by dvlmaycare
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2005
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 5:27pm

People will always try their luck. These preferences are not always cast in stone.


I didn't think that those drop down menus were preferences. I considered them dealbreakers - if I didn't consider one of them a dealbreaker (I don't care what sign a guy is, for example), I used the "tell you later" option or something.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 5:41pm

So if a person was one inch below or above your height range, or 9 months outside of your age range, that's a deal breaker?

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