Sometimes you just gotta laugh...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sometimes you just gotta laugh...
26
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 12:58pm

I posted yesterday in the roll call about my last OLD meet 2 weeks ago, and how the guy hadn't called (which I was ok with, as I was only somewhat interested).

Well, he called last night...I didn't recognize the number so didn't pick up...he just left a vague "hey, we haven't talked in a while so I thought I'd call" message.

I went out to dinner with two of my closest guy friends shortly after getting his message and remarked to them that after 2 weeks, the message might as well have said, "hey, none of the other women I was meeting have panned out and I've got nothing going on for the weekend so I'm calling you as a backup plan to see if you're desparate enough to call me back". They agreed wholeheartedly.

Needless to say, I won't be calling him back but the cluelessness of some people just floors me!

Sheri

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 1:35pm

Sheri - You are not alone. That happened to me a few months ago. I had a first meet with a guy, it was okay. As I walked back to my place, I thought if he calls, I'd go out again, he wasn't hideous or anything. A week went by, he didn't call and I felt relieved (by then I had realized we probably were not a match - he had sole custody of his son who he described as a "handful"). Another week goes by, the phone rings, the caller ID shows a name I didn't even recognize (I had definitely written him off by then), and he leaves me a message asking if I wanted to go out again. I never called him back but I was truly stunned he waited so long, assuming he was really interested.

I went out with a guy years ago who said he waits a week after the first date before asking for a second. I think that's too long, especially in the fast-paced world of OLD!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 1:41pm
Why not call him back? Maybe what you're thinking isn't the case at all. If you're not interested at all, I can understand. Why do we always assume the worst?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 1:52pm

Human nature for the most part is pretty predictable. Everyone thinks their behavior is unique, but it really isn't. The scenario the OP posted about is pretty common unfortunately, so I think her assessment is dead on. I think two weeks is MORE then enough time to show you are interested in someone and ask them out.

GM

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 1:54pm
It's not assuming the worst.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 1:55pm

I completly agree with you!
WHy not call them back? Why can't we share the initiative? (sp?) I mean of course, I wouldn't call every day, but share the responsiblity- why do we have to wait for them? If they are truly not interested then they won't accept or call back. And what happened to taking it slow? Why rush into date after date... ??? Take it slow, if it's meant to be then it will all pan out.

I don't think anything is wrong with waiting a week to set up the next date. It shows respect and in the meantime you can share emails or phone conversations. Abscence makes the heart grow fonder.... If a guy wanted to see me immediately after a first date, I would think he was either lonely, had NO life, or was desperate....

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 1:57pm

I agree, it's a bit insulting for him to have waited two weeks.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 2:03pm

If a guy wanted to see me immediately after a first date, I would think he was either lonely, had NO life, or was desperate....


I'm not sure what you mean by immediately, but if you mean a few days later or within a week, I'd think the guy liked me and was interested.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 2:10pm

The thing is, they weren't even sharing e-mails or phone calls. It had been two weeks since Sheri had any contact from him at all.

It's true that "absence makes the heart grow fonder," but I think two weeks is a bit much. If I were interested enough, I might cut the guy some slack, but I'd be very wary as to what his interest level was.

There's a poster on another board who has a "one week rule" when it comes to calling a woman. He figures that if he waits a week and calls and the woman is truly interested in HIM, she won't be put off that he waited a week to call. On the other hand, he's not talking about OLD - he's talking about the length of time between getting the girl's number and making that first phone call. I disagree with that but I guess it works for him.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 2:11pm

And you do love your opinion.....

Yeah- but maybe he's thinking the same about her? It is the 2000's! Men do expect some form of reciprication... Puh-lease... in my opinion, if she was interested, she could have picked up the phone or emailed him just as easily...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 2:16pm

I agree that two weeks AFTER MEETING Sheri – it means nothing else panned out.

However if they never met then I’d say give him a call. Heck, I’ve done that, given my number out or not returned the call as I met other dates and when they didn’t turn out ok or I had more time then I’d meet them.

I had one guy I gave my number to a few weeks ago that finally called last night. However before he called he mentioned he was on vacation and said he’d be calling. At first I was like ‘ok, we’ll see if he calls’ he did and I was pleasantly surprised by our conversation, he told me about his trip, some OLD experiences and how people misrepresent themselves (gets old fast, so I can also see the delay) and we agreed to go out Saturday night – we both really were surprised by our convo. We’ll see – I think when you’re dating a lot and not meeting quality people it’s easy to not put in the effort, we’ve all been there HOWEVER if I met this guy Sat and he didn’t call again until two weeks later I would NOT return his call either as he’s met me.

SP

 
 

Pages