Sometimes you just gotta laugh...

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sometimes you just gotta laugh...
26
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 12:58pm

I posted yesterday in the roll call about my last OLD meet 2 weeks ago, and how the guy hadn't called (which I was ok with, as I was only somewhat interested).

Well, he called last night...I didn't recognize the number so didn't pick up...he just left a vague "hey, we haven't talked in a while so I thought I'd call" message.

I went out to dinner with two of my closest guy friends shortly after getting his message and remarked to them that after 2 weeks, the message might as well have said, "hey, none of the other women I was meeting have panned out and I've got nothing going on for the weekend so I'm calling you as a backup plan to see if you're desparate enough to call me back". They agreed wholeheartedly.

Needless to say, I won't be calling him back but the cluelessness of some people just floors me!

Sheri

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 5:04pm

Not no way, not no how!

The traditions of courtship are still the same even in 2005. A man who is TRULY interested will call, and won't wait no stinkin' two weeks ;-).

I was a back up plan, and his calling after so long is really rather insulting.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 5:04pm

I know you are addresssing GM here, AJU, but my 2 cents is that everyone is different. You may think it is fine for a person to not show special interest for weeks, but I think there are plenty of us that want to know where we stand. Want to know the other person is interested...in a big way.
I know stacking 'em high is also popular here, and may even be a good idea,...but I am not sure I could ever like/accept that a man I am very interested in is seeing other women. EEK. I mean, yes, maybe at the very beginning, but not for weeks or months after we are dating, etc. It seems like I want to be either we like each other a lot, in a special way, -OR- we don't. That works for me. Maybe my opinions will change. But that is the way I feel now.

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2005
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 5:19pm

Totally understand. I'm just saying it's DATING and nothing more. I think women OLD for a serious relationship and men OLD to find the bigger better deal. I know that's not true of Eric or LG and a lot of other guys, but with all the players and ghosters out there that we hear about on this board, don't you think that's true?

AND if you wanna think you're a backup plan, that's on you, not him (general "you" - not specifically "you").

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 5:27pm

"...I think women OLD for a serious relationship and men OLD to find the bigger better deal....."

I have to agree from what I have seen so far. When you think of it that way, and if you meet enough of those type of guys, it probably can make you resentful pretty quickly.

Yes, it's just dating...especially in the early stages....first date or two....At least outside of OLD. But I am sure any dating is the same in that respect. We (all) have to watch out for those weird 'false emotions' with OLD though. I had them from the first chat when I connected well in conversation. It's scary! But I think our hopes get too high sometimes perhaps.

 
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-26-2005 - 6:10pm

Oh, but even if I were more interested, I still wouldn't have called him back after two weeks. His obvious lack of interest would make mine wane.

Anytime I have gone against my better judgment on this and given someone the benefit of the doubt, it's come back to bite me in the butt. A guy who is interested will call promptly after the date. Actually, a guy who is *really* interested will ask you out again before the first date is over.

And just to make clear, if he'd apologized or explained why he waited so long to call in his message, my reaction might be different. But he didn't, so it's a moot point.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sat, 08-27-2005 - 1:17pm

I'm late posting, but:

Waits 2 weeks to call me = I'm better than nothing. NEXT!

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