Spiritual.....Not Religious
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Spiritual.....Not Religious
| Tue, 07-18-2006 - 9:21am |
In doing the online dating thing, you may see references to "spiritual, not religious" in people's profiles. What does that mean, exactly? Can someone who's devout successfully date someone who's spiritual?

That's what I put for myself.
I think there are a number of people who are spiritual; they believe in God, Jesus, higher power, whatever you want to call your "higher power", but who do not attend a church or belong to any organized religion. That is how I interpret the phrase you're referring to. I used to attend a conservative type church and found that the majority of those people believed that you were not a very good Christian if you dated someone who did not attend church. They assumed quite a lot and it probably did not help my spiritual health by going to that church for so many years. I now attend a church that does not subscribe to the theory that "going to church" makes you a Christian or that warming a pew gets you points towards heaven. Although I attend sporadically anymore, I would almost classify myself as spiritual but not religious.
I think if your church life is very important to you, then it might be good to indicate that you want a guy who would go to church with you. I actually did want my last guy to attend with me sometime, but he always seemed to have "other things" to do on his Sunday mornings. I did not push him as that does not make anyone want to go. If we had stayed together, I think he would have gone with me at some point. The reality is that there are very few single guys who attend church by themselves. Most of the men in churches today are married with children.
I'm spiritual but not religious. What it means to me is that I believe in what comes around goes around (Karma, golden rule). I believe in a GOD but not a religion. I believe that the things we do will make a difference in the end. Be the best person I can and yes I'll make mistakes along the way only to learn and grow from them. If I date someone who is ultra religious it would not work. I've had Christians who won't date me and I've had other relgions who are super into their religion. I accept that. However I do date a lot of Jewish men which is great for me. I can date all types and not have it be a deal breaker. If I married a Christian or Jewish guy and either one said they would prefer to teach our future child the religion I would have no problems with it. But usually even the Jewish guys I date aren't that religious. My ex wasn't of any faith, he was agnostic. Honestly it seems NO ONE will ever know what happened a million years ago when it pertains to religion. My mother always said "Peanut, religion tears people apart"...when she was growing up the Catholics and the Protestants were going at it. She was Protestant and would lie and say her boyfriends or friends were too if they were Catholic OVER THAT. Ridiculous. Look at the world today i.e. religion......stupid if you ask me. Who cares....just be a good person and you can't go wrong!
So that's my take!
Ms. Peanut
Edited 7/18/2006 10:40 am ET by small_peanut2005
Most men I've met who put that mean that they believe in God, but don't go to church.
Personally, I'm soooo tempted to put it in my profile, because I don't consider myself "religious" but I think the terminology would be confusing, so I just put Christian (which I don't consider a "religion" - ugh, I hate that word).
That's pretty much what it means to me too (believe in God but don't go to church regularly)...but it really can cover a *wide* variety, as is obvious from this thread!
Sheri
I too have dated a lot of Jewish guys. I was raised in a non-religious christian family but I consider myself sort of agnostic. Religion was never an issue for me until my ex-fiance who was a non religious Jewish guy, asked me to convert to a Judaism. He said to me that even though he was not religious, he would like to raise our future kids in jewish religion. I was fine with that but he also said that ..according to jewish culture, the mother has to be Jewish so the children can be Jewish. I was crushed that he'd asked me to convert. Something that I'd never do that to him. I'd thought long and hard about converting to save the relationship..but in the end, I couldn't do it. I would be betraying myself. I don't want to become a Jew just because I want to get married so we broke up. I didn't understand why people ask others to convert in order to be with them. It's plain selfish.
I can't speak for people who had converted to their spouses' religions on their marriages. Religion is a personal sacred thing to me. I only want to convert becasue I really believe in it,not as a means to something else.
My sister and my bestfriend on other hand have converted to Judaism for their husbands. My bro-in-law and my BF's husbands are wonderful husbands.
Here in NYC, Lots of Jewish men say they are spiritual but not religious but they want to be married to a Jew. (remember..an episode in Sex and the city...where Charlotte's non religious Jewish boyfriend Harry's told her that he couldn't marry her becasue she wasn't a Jew.So Christian ( ? Catholic) Charlotte converted to Judaism to marry Harry).
So as long as you are receptable to converting, date all religious..non religious guys. And if you are not...have a talk re: religion issue before things get heavy.
just my 2 cents!
SL
I'm a Charlotte :-)and I would for love just how I'm built but most don't care about the conversion of me it would be to at least have them educated about the religion......and most I date there sis's or bro's are not married to other jews...
SP
I always choose spiritual not religous because that's what I am.
I do not follow an organized religion, so choosing "Jewish" "Protestant" "Catholic" etc wouldn't be accurate assessment of who I am when it comes to faith. I have been christened but that doesn't really matter in the grande scheme of life in regards to MY beliefs.
I tend to consider myself agnostic but I rarely choose agnostic on my profiles because many people don't even know what agnostic is, I've been accused of being athiest so many times I lost count when I'm not remotely an athiest, so rather than avoid that whole avenue I put spiritual because I am spiritual, I pray, I believe in certain things, but I am not religious. So therefore cannot in good conscious pick an organized religion that is put down on profiles.