Stages of dating
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| Thu, 03-17-2005 - 11:24am |
Thought this might make an interesting post.
Most of my friends talk of dating and the various stages. I have a friend that says by the 3 month mark you should know if you’re in love with someone or at least falling for them; I have another that says by the 3 month mark you’ll know if you have what it takes to move forward. I think I read another poster that said by 3 months is when she’d be exclusive with someone or sleep with them. I think NWW posted between 4 and 8 months you see who that person really is not just their representative.
For me I think around 4 months like NWW said is good, you’re being more yourself, maybe have your first argument or disagreement where you friction. I also think 6 months for me is a make or break. I haven’t dated anyone longer than 5 months in many years (although I’ve had a 3 year, 2 year and 1 year in the past just not lately) only because I’m looking for marriage so if I date someone 6 months or longer then I feel inside that man has what it takes to make a great future husband (not get engaged at that point but continue dating for another 6-9 months). Otherwise I think it’s only fair to set that person free or have them set me free if they feel we may not be a good match. Yes, no guarantees that it will happen but if inside you feel that have what it takes then that’s a great thing regardless of the outcome. Time is all we have so why put off what you know right away and I think the older you get the more fine tuned you are in what you’re seeking long term. It’s not like your 20’s where you date for 5 years for the heck of it and then break up, ha!
Understandably every relationship is different and yes I’ve heard stories where the guy and gal go out for two years and boom the minute they get married one or the other changes, no guarantees either way but excluding these bizarre instances is what I think would make an interesting post.
What are your philosophies or stages of dating that you’ve personally noticed!
Happy St. Patricks Day!
Peanut

I have been reading Dating for Dummies, LOL and I pretty much treat it like a bible and it keeps me very grounded. Everytime I go out I come home and re-read the chapters that are pertinent to my particualr date. It has really been a life saver. Anyways, according to this book somewhere around 3-6 months is about the time it works to be intimate. Basically as a relationship progresses you spend more time together and get to know the other person in many different scenarios and depending on how often you see each other depends on how long it takes. In the book it really goes into sex and how much that exposes you and makes you vulnerable and whether or not you feel that you can have that vulnerability in the realtionship at any given time. Personally, I have decided that at least 4 months before my clothes come off, no matter how bad I may want it, lol. I just don't want to have any more flings and I am ready to settle down. To me it seems, if the guy thinks I am worth it, then he will wait, and I know I am worth it so they should wait :-) until I am ready and feel that he has the same level of commitment that I do. Hopefully I would know something like that in approximately 4 months. If I don't know it, then I will just wait longer. So far it is working for me and I feel really good about my decision. I even stopped with my birth control pills just to make sure that I do have that exclusivity talk and the birth control talk and whatever other talk may need to happen before I do the deed. Then, as my reasoning goes, I can have the talk and still have some time afterwards to get all the ducks in a row and have plenty of time to make sure that I am positive it is what is right for me at that time. Hop eall that made sense, lol. ;-)
Ya'll have a great day! and Happy St Patricks Day!
J