Stood up! Unreal...
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 04-18-2007 - 11:22pm |
Okay, it has not been the best week! I started speaking to this guy Dave online. He lives in Milwaukee and I live in Chicago. He tells me that he is coming to Chicago on Tuesday for an event. So, I suggest meeting up for a drink. Guess what he tells me the event is--- speed dating!
Okay, my mouth is on the floor, what am I doing, trying out for the Bachelor??? Anyways, I figure fine, its one drink, but I am a bit put off that he bothered to tell me he was going to a dating event--- but I found this out after I suggested the drink. So he tells me the event should end around 9:30PM and he'll call me and we agree on a place.
So, at 9:30--- no call. In fact, no call at all the whole night! (Granted after 10:15PM I think it would be getting too late to even call). I saw that he sent me a message online today, but I haven't even bothered to read it, bottom line, I feel, if he can't call, he's not worth my time. And, I think it was TACKY (is there a better word for it???) that he would tell me he was coming here to a dating event!
Any comments? I think I should say nothing back to him via email--- anyone else to comment? And if I get stuck in this situation again, (where some guy tells me something tacky after I suggest getting together)--- how do you get out of it (without just coming across as a total flake)???

Pages
I think you should read the email, and unless it says something like "this house was on fire and I had to run in to save a 99 year old grandma and her 2 year old great-grandchild", you send him one back saying "sorry, I'm just not interested, good luck."
Then block him and move on to next.
On behalf of clueless guys everywhere (been there, done that- not quite THAT bad, but bad) I apologize for this one.
I second that!
I am a bit confused why this matters...you both are on online matchmaking sites obviously looking for that perfect match.....so why would it be a negative thing that he was honest with you about where he was going? He is single and looking....and there shouldn't be a reason why he couldn't act that way in front of you.
I think you are overreacting to the speed dating "honesty" BUT the no phone call is a deal breaker for me.
Cindy
We all have different levels of sensitivities. When I talk/meet with someone from a dating site then I expect them to be emailing/talking/seeing someone else. Whether they volunteer that information or not is not a big deal to me. I see this situation as similar where the other person mentions that he will be devoting his time in your area "looking." I see that as being upfront and transparent.
I agree with all the others insofar as his behavior on not keeping to his commitment of meeting with you.
Mark
Hi, the follow up on this is this guy tried to IM me when I was on the dating site.
I just deleted his email and had no reason to talk to him again... funny how its ok for him to disappear (when we have plans) but not for me to just "disappear"...
He said "I sent you an email did you get it?" (you can obviously check that I did in fact get it)
Me: "Yes."
Him: "Well you haven't gotten back to me."
Me: "Well honestly, you didn't get back to me when we made plans."
Him: "Well it was too late to call you and we made the plans last minute, the speed dating event plans I made a month ago. And its not like I really owe you anything."
Me: "Well in that case, why would you think I owe you anything, but I disagree, you made a first impression on me and I think you owed me at least a phone call."
Him: "Well I apologized."
Me: "Let me get this straight, you made plans with me, you told me you were going out to meet other women, and then since you were still spending time with them, you blew me off, not even calling me."
Him: "Well, I think you are being too sensitive."
Me: "This is a great dinner story, but you don't get the main point, that you are now contacting me because I'm guessing the other 25 women didn't work out, but I don't owe you anything either."
Honestly, if a guy is dating/writing other women--- of course that's fine! I've never met the guy! But imagine if your friend calls you up and tells you "hey I'll be in your area, but I'm visiting other people, but I just wanted to let you know." ---Its like what's the point of telling me?
Think about it, when you interview for a job, you don't tell the people that you are interviewing at xxx companies--- you keep that information to yourself. (ok I know if you are trying to get an immediate offer, but for the most part you get the idea...)
But the IRONY here is that: he was out meeting OTHER WOMEN and that's why he couldn't meet me out!
Pages