Strange Date

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Strange Date
5
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 8:44am
Hello all!
I'm new to the meeting people online thing, and I've already posted some stuff on the "Fools Rush In" board. Basically, I've been on two dates in the past week with two guys I've met online. If you're interested in how things are going with Guy 1, check out "Fools Rush In." This post, though, is about Guy 3 (Guy 2 and I haven't been out on a date yet; we just talk pretty regularly). Anyway, Guy 3 and I have been talking for over a week. He seems like a nice guy. I've learned a lot about him over the past week; he seems very candid about his life. So, he IM'ed me and asked me to go to the movies with him last night. I went, and when I met him for the first time, it was kind of strange. He seemed really standoffish; he wasn't rude, just a bit distant. He didn't say much and when he did talk, it was so low that I could barely hear him. While we sat in the movie waiting for the movie to play, we talked a little. He asked questions about me....blah, blah, blah....Here's the interesting part: after the movie, it seemed like he couldn't wait to get to his car and leave. He didn't even walk me to my car! It puzzled me, because he had been a gentleman up until that point: he bought my ticket, bought my refreshments, opened doors....then, he doesn't even walk me to my car??? Strange!! Now, he's seen my picture, so I don't think that he was turned off by my looks. He, however, looked nothing like his picture. He's attractive; however, he looks about 10 years younger than his age (he says he's 28). He told me to call him when I got home; I did, and he didn't call me back.
I guess he's not interested in talking to me anymore. I'm confused, because it seemed like we were hitting it off via phone and IM. I do know that meeting in person is different, though. I understand that. He just seemed extra shy when we met and didn't have much to say. There was no "standing by the car after the movie" small talk. I'm really confused. Has anyone ever experienced this kind of thing before?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 9:56am

Hiding behind the computer screen, I think, allows people to come out of their shells and be the outgoing, vivacious person they wish they were.

Reality can be, they are quite shy and lack social skills.

Maybe he was more attracted to you than he expected and didn't know what to do with it. Maybe the movie wasn't what he expected and felt embarassed by it. Maybe he was out of converation topics. Maybe you were more outgoing face-to-face than he expected. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Unfortunately, without more dates, it is impossible to tell. And if there are no more dates, no loss.

Good luck. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
In reply to: mali2579
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:55am

It sounds to me that he could be shy and/or not great in social situations.

heather 5-18-10
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 2:12pm
Thank you for your reply.
I actually feel the same way about going to a movie on the first date. What a coincidence! I was telling my friend that it doesn't make sense to sit in the dark in silence for two hours with someone you don't know, if the purpose of going out with the person is to get to know him. I suggested coffee to him, and he said that he doesn't like coffee. He wanted to go to a movie, so I went ahead and met up with him. He tried to talk a little before the movie; he did seem interested in knowing me. It's just that he seemed awfully shy and a bit uncomfortable. He's the one who initiated meeting.....anyway, I'll just wait to hear from him. If I don't, then another one bites the dust!! NEXT!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2004
In reply to: mali2579
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 4:07pm

Yes never a movie for first meet.. definitely, coffee or even a drink? or tea??

again you learn...

i also agree you don't know someone until you meet and don't make this about YOU or take it personally. if anything you would be more turned off and look at it the other way around.. why be interested in someone that hides behind a computer and when gets out can't have a social date.

keep going..

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
In reply to: mali2579
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 3:32pm
Hey all!
Here's an update on the guy I went to the movie with last Sunday. He and I both were online, and he IM'd me a hello. I asked him why he acted strange at the movie. He said that he was preoccupied because his brother kept texting him about having lost keys and that he seemed like he was in a hurry to go because he had to take keys to his brother. He also said that his cell phone died, and that's why he didn't call me back. Of course, none of that matters because he could've called the next day. Of course, he didn't have to since he and I are nothing to each other. I thanked him for the date and said that since he seems to prefer IM over actual converstion, he and I are at a loss as far as communication goes. Basically, once I've met someone in person, from that point on, if we hit it off (I'm not sure if he and I did) I'd rather not have our commuication be primarily via IM. He said that he's fine with any mode of commuication. He also said that he has a lot on his plate because he travels a lot for work, and it's taking a toll on his social life. Sounds like shades of "He's Just Not That Into You." He didn't make any kind of effort to continue talking, so I said "bye, bye". It's just so weird how he was the one to initiate contact and initiate the first meet-up, even though the movie was a bad idea. Now, he acts like he's not interested. Go figure!!!