SUPPOSED to have a meet tonight....
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| Fri, 05-06-2005 - 8:34am |
Ok, so I've been dating a lot lately from match and yahoo. This will be the 6th guy since October. A little background, got out of a long relationship in July of last year, started dating again in October. Most of the guys I've met liked me, but I didn't feel the same way back. Two of the guys I met I was interested in, dated for a period of time, then POOF they were gone with no explanation (some may remember the guy who stood me up.)
So I wrote this guy on match and we sent a couple emails and then exchanged phone numbers. The first call was a little weird (as always) and I wasn't sure if we had chemistry, but the rest since then have been great! Talking over an hour almost every other day. I let him call me and he has been very consistant. He even called me last night from Canada while on a friends bachelor party. SAid he wasn't having good reception all night, but called because he said he would. So we brought up the possibility of meeting tonight for some drinks with some friends. It was my b-day on Wednesday and his today, so a little celebration is in order. The Problem: He just got out of a long distance relationship of a year and a half a little over a month ago. He has dated since, so I wouldn't be his first date. I'm a little nervous about this. He said the best medicine right now is for him to go out and meet new people. I'm at the stage where I'm ready to have another serious relationship. He knows this as well. Am I just setting myself up for disaster if things go well? Friends say to just to meet him and see what happens, but I know that this could turn out like the other 2 guys I dated, very easily. He has written me everyday and called every other day. He always writes "I had so much fun talking to you last night!"
My problem is I told myself I wouldn't get myself into a situation that wasn't healthy for me. And I would actively seek someone for a serious relationship. Can guys seriously go from one serioud relationship to the next? I know women who do it. I just don't want to be some rebound chick - that is if he's even interested in me.
Oh and if anyone wants to look over my profile and give me some tips I would appreciate it. Seems like it needs some sprucing up! Match name: deltag04
Layx2

Remove the picture with the guy - no matter who he is.
I'm on the way out - but reading your profile quickly I didn't take away that you're looking for a LTR-- you start out saying your pretty much up for anything including hanging out at bars, etc.
You should name specifics (what book are you reading), activities you enjoy, name places and events that you like, names of bands, tv, movies, etc.
I don't think you can really judge the other person's intentions until you meet. Nearly everyone will give you a "Friends first" speech which just means "I have a built in excuse if I don't feel like dating you".
After you meet - then I'd discuss the relative seriousness of a potential relationship. Discuss this BEFORE getting serious. You're also very young so my guess is you'll still run into people who are not quite ready to settle down.
You've got a ton of chick chatter in there.
Ok, the pictures stays..that's of me and my brother. If a guy doesn't want to write me because of a picture with a guy, then that's his problem. My family is important to me. I've written to people with others in their pictures.
>>I'm on the way out - but reading your profile quickly I didn't take away that you're looking for a LTR<<
Ok how does this sentence NOT say that? " I've been in several serious relationships and I'm still looking for that one special person." I would like to convey that, so any other suggestions would be helpful.
I do need to add in some more specifics about myself.
What exactly is chick chatter? I sort of take offense to that comment.
Layx2
Well, you asked for an opinion! If you took the time to read some of the archival advice, you'll find it is a general consensus that "chick chatter" (explained elsewhere) and photos of you and someone else were not a good idea.
An OLD profile is about perception, and a fellow reviewed yours and got a certain impression, right or wrong. This should tell you where you need to tweak if you want to appeal to a certain type. The one line you put in about relationships doesn't seem to cancel out the party talk.
You asked:
"Can guys seriously go from one serioud relationship to the next? I know women who do it. I just don't want to be some rebound chick - that is if he's even interested in me."
The short answer is yes. There are many people, men and women, who bounce from partner to partner. But the relationships are rarely "serious".
I re-read your post and you didn't mention if you had met him yet. Caution! From my own experience, and reading the experience of others, it is important that you meet as soon as possible in order to find out if there is chemistry. So many of us have spent a lot of time emailing/phoning and building up a little fantasy about someone only to be disappointed with the real deal.
My last caution to you is about what he said: that he is getting over someone by dating other people. That would be my tip off that I am a rebound chick.
In any case, he's one guy and you are online dating so don't restrict yourself to just him.
amjay
Not sure what to tell you about the meet... but here's my specific suggestions for your profile.
My heading says I'm supposed to have a meet tonight..so no I haven't met him. I've been corresponding for a little over a week, so I think that's a good amount of time. Plus this is the first open night we've both had for a chance to meet. He works an opposite shift than I do and I've been very busy all week. I like to talk to someone for at least a little bit, so when we meet we will at least feel comfortable with each other and know a little about each other. I don't like to email once, talk once and then meet. It seems a little weird to me. I don't put all my eggs in one basket, I date a lot. It just so happens that he is the only one I'm in correspondence with at the moment. But I do continually search, send emails and winks and meet people out.
I'm not a partier by anymeans. I listed things that I do, one of them is bars/clubs. It doesn't mean that I'm out looking to "hook up." I go because that is where my friends go. I like to listen to live music and go dancing. I guess I will tweak that area a bit.
I'm sorry, I don't have enough time to search through all the past postings for what "chick chatter", so that's why I asked and hoped someone would explain it.
Thanks for the advice about the pictures though, I really do appreciate it. However, I am going to keep it. I get many winks, emails and views (over 8,000) so I know it's not hurting me. Plus like I said, if they are passing me over because I'm in a picture with a guy, that's just silly.
Again thanks for the advice, I'm going to modify my profile a bit and maybe I'll take out the "chick chatter" in the process?
Layx2
Here's an explanation of "chick chatter" (coined by our dear LG):
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlcyber/?msg=8423.2
You also said re the pic with your brother: I get many winks, emails and views (over 8,000) so I know it's not hurting me.
Actually I have had hundreds of emails and winks over the course of time that I've been on match. Of course when I first signed up I was bombarded, now I get about 30 a week. Ok, I'll cut out my brother (poor thing) and see how the responses come, if they increase or change in the type of guy writing me, I'll keep it. If not, I'll put it back up. Well see what happens with my little experiment! = )
Thanks for the link about chick chatter, makes more sense now!
Layx2