Taking a break...

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Taking a break...
18
Sat, 09-17-2005 - 11:32am

Well, I've decided to hide all my profiles for at least a month or 2. I have a few guys I'm talking to, but can't handle any more right now. I'm not even sure my heart is into dating right now with 2 jobs & a crappy schedule at that. I told clingy guy in an email after he asked this:

I'm curious to know how you feel about me. The only reason I ask this is because I don't hear from you very much, and we're constantly having to postpone getting together. I know that circumstances were beyond your control on those dates, and that work
keeps you a little busy. I've offered to meet you after work to get a coffee/soda
and talk, but I guess that's not possible. I think you're simply amazing. You're the first date I've had in a long while that constantly challenges me. I can't remember ever being beaten at so many games before, and I liked the challenge. Plus, you're a great conversationalist with wit and charisma, not to mention that your looks are not hard on the eyes in the least. Maybe I moved to fast on our first date, but I don't regret it.....not even when we were busted. Please tell me how you feel, and don't feel the need to sugarcoat anything.

I just told him flat out that I was feeling overwhelmed by work & life right now & found that I had zero energy for dating anyone right now. I haven't heard back yet.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Sun, 09-18-2005 - 11:52am

I totally hear ya about the warts... I want the same. And I also understand about being put on a pedestal--usually a hard fall off of it!


Part of me is wondering whether or not you should have been completely honest with him, rather than saying you wanted to take a break. Not that it would have made a difference, just putting more thoughts out there...

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Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 09-18-2005 - 11:57am
Well, I actually am taking a break. I removed my ad from Yahoo & Match. I do have 2 guys leftover that I'm still talking to, & will meet the, but after that, if neither one shows promise, I'm probably going to rest up until after the holidays. I have 20 more pounds to lose until goal (bought my first size 12 jeans in YEARS yesterday) & will take a trip to Florida in November, focus on me for a little bit, then get back out there feeling more like myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 09-18-2005 - 12:48pm

Travkitty,

Didn't read the rest of the responses yet, but my initial reaction is you sound tired....and maybe you just don't like something about that guy. He did write a nice note, no?

P.S. I read some of the responses and more of your comments and see he probably is not enough of a challenge to you. Everybody likes something different and I guess the spark just isn't there. I hope you stay friends, if that is what you'd like.




Edited 9/18/2005 12:51 pm ET ET by saralm
 
Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Sun, 09-18-2005 - 12:57pm

You know, I think the big factor in no chemistry is that he's too much like a big kid. I don't like a guy who acts like a kid all the time, nor do I like someone so serious & intellectual all the time. I want balance. I didn't feel any chemistry with a totally hot guy earlier this summer because he was too serious. So maybe I'm finding too many ends of the spectrum but need to find a middle guy.

Yes, I am tired. I work 2 jobs & have an hour commute each way right now. I never have any time for myself, which is something I need to reenergize myself. Without it, I'm running on empty & can't give to anyone else.

Avatar for travkitty
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2003
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 1:45pm

Well, I got an email from him last night. He sounds disappointed, maybe a little bitter & judgmental. I don't think it's about priorities....I think if George Clooney walked through my door & begged me to marry him, I'd yawn. LOL! I'm in the "down on dating" cycle we all get on. Here's the email...

Annie,

I appreciate your honesty. I understand that you're under a lot of
stress from work, and unforseen expenses have made you resort to working
harder to make up expenses for school. Therefore I've decided not to add to your
stress level. It really comes down to priorities. I realize that school is very
important to you right now, and saving up for it has become the most important
goal for you. I understand this very well, since I'm trying to finish up my
final year of school and begin teaching somewhere while working on my Masters. I
know that your family and cats are very important to you as well, as mine are to me. One thing I've discovered in life is that if you want something bad enough, some goal or achievement, you'll find a way to do/get it. You are taking on more work to make sure that you can start school in the fall, which I think is fantastic. However, I also realize that seeing me is not very high on your priorities list. If it were, you'd find a way. Even if cats, car, or house painting got in the way, if it were important, I
believe you'd find a way. A date doesn't have to be dancing and very energy
expanding. All it has to be is 2 people getting together and having a
good time. As I said earlier, I'm not going to contribute to your stress factor by
calling you as much anymore. I still welcome calls from you, and I want you
to know that I truly wish the best for you in school and in life. Maybe someday you'll have time and the energy to call or write me to want to do something, and I hope that you will.

Grant

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 1:51pm

He seems down to earth and sincere.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2003
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 2:27pm

Hey Travkitty, there is nothing wrong with wanting to take a break.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-19-2005 - 7:29pm

It sounds like he *totally* missed your message that you didn't think the two of you are a match and just want to be friends (this is the same guy you sent that to, right?).

I'd want to make a sarcastic comment about his reading comprehension skills, but I'd most likely resist ;-).

Sheri

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