Taking it slow... how?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Taking it slow... how?
15
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 12:31pm

So far I've been good at taking things slow with P, well at least I thought I was.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 8:29pm

John, thank you, what a lovely thing to say. I had a tough day today so it is especially appreciated.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 12-14-2005 - 9:49pm

No surprise here when I tell you my opinion!...I say go for it! :) Happy for ya!

Sara

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 10:41am

No more sleepovers?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 11:06am

Hi Jennie,

Let me preface this post by saying I think you're very intelligent and insightful, based on what you've posted to me and others. It sounds like you're handling your new relationship well. I just have one small concern, or maybe not even a concern, just a thought. Just make sure that you're only going as fast as you're comfortable with. I know that for me it's very easy to get my desires confused with those others have for and of me. It sounds like P is being considerate and respectful of your wishes. That's great! I've had to learn the hard way that if a guy doesn't care how he's making me feel, he just doesn't care.

In the long run, I think it's better to take things slowly. I probably mostly feel this way because from my observations, if someone likes who they are and are good to others, they can survive the ambiguity that a new relationship necessarily entails. They know that there are people in the world that are trustworthy, as opposed to someone who has to nail their partner down, so to speak, via commitment and control because they don't feel they can trust anyone. Dating is a lot about figuring out who is trustworthy, not whether anyone can be trusted. Sadly, I've run into a number of guys who didn't trust anyone. They wanted an instant commitment; their distrust towards me and others eventually ate out the heart of the budding relationship.

It's kind of exciting to enjoy the newness of discovering someone and it can lay a good foundation for the love, companionship and trust many of us desire. Good luck with everything!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 12-15-2005 - 11:17am

Those are all very good points, and I do know it makes sense to wait... it's just hard to wait!

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