Taking it slow?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Taking it slow?
13
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 2:33am

I had 3 dates with a guy I met on Match. He is 11 years older than me, a mature middle-aged guy that is looking for marriage. We had great time together each date laughing and sharing our life stories. There was no touching, kissing or any sexual suggestions involved.
It’s been a month since we first met. We see each other once every weekend, and the rest of the times just emailing or occasionally he would call me. He didn’t ask for a date on V-day, which I thought was ok since I had other obligations anyway. I emailed him in the morning just to say happy v-day, and he called me tonight to say “happy Valentine’s day” back to me. He made it clear that he didn’t go on a date, and I did the same. He also asked me on another date this coming weekend.

Am I being too anxious to feel that he is being slow? Does this look normal for a beginning of a relationship? I see that he stills checks Match every day, which is bothering me a little. Can someone tell me in a normal online dating situation, what should be happening a month into the relationship?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
In reply to: bigidig
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 12:25pm

Well, he called last night after I wrote that post. He said that he is looking forward to my performance and wanted to know how my dress rehearsal went (on Saturday). I asked how he's been since we talked last. He told me (intentionally?) that he went out with a few guys from work on Friday night and went to a guy’s birthday party on Saturday night, and had a good time with the guy’s niece. He read a book about foreign trade until 2am after that. He is being nice, is he? He’s trying to say that he isn’t seeing any one else right? I’m so confused till this point. I never really had to guess what’s on a man’s head before.

Thanks for letting us know about the Australian culture. I think online dating promotes a setting for “casual, multiple dating” and people tend to think it’s normal to dating more than one since you put yourself out there in the market. I’m still not dating anyone else, even though I know it’s not the “norm” anymore here in the States. I actually feel like asking this guy what his point of view is on this one.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: bigidig
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 12:52pm

Could be. I'd take a somewhat dimmer view, since if I read your posts correctly, the two of you were supposed to have a DATE this weekend, and he didn't even CALL you until Sunday night!

Besides, at this point, you have no idea if he's telling you the truth about what he did this weekend or if he's making up stories to keep you on the hook until he decides what he wants with you.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
In reply to: bigidig
Mon, 02-20-2006 - 1:07pm
That's a very good point! I tend to trust someone too early in a relationship. Most men that I trusted turned out to be big liars. They are so good in lying that I just can't bring myself to doubt them! I've always told myself to be aware the next time, but never remember to. Thanks Sheri for reminding me! He might turn out to be genuine after all, but I just don't know him well enough to say that at this point. I'll keep my hopes low with him. I've decided not to initiate anything else after my performance. So, we'll see, I'll keep you posted!

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